


We're all in this together

by terraknives



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alicia & Lexa are twins, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Multi, Zombie Apocalypse, losely follows ftwd plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27262216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terraknives/pseuds/terraknives
Summary: Lexa and Alicia rescue a young brunette from a bunch of savages and somehow Alicia manages to get stabbedClarke and her group of rag-tags have been looking for little Madi after she didn't return from a run; they end up finding something much moreORAlicia and Lexa are twins in ftwd universe
Relationships: Alicia Clark & Lexa (The 100), Clarke Griffin & Madi, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Luna/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 78
Kudos: 219





	1. If humans won't help each other, who will?

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoy reading ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : Implied/ Reference to non-con/rape, Graphic (not much) depiction of violence

Alicia sighed for the hundredth time that night. There wasn't really a problem that warranted the action - really she could just speak up about what she wanted and she would get it - but where's the fun in that? She's not one to give up even the smallest chance to annoy her twin.

 _"I hate you."_ Lexa said as she lifted the covers from on one side, to let Alicia get in.

 _"I love you too."_ Alicia grinned and slipped in besides her.

_"You could've just said you didn't want to sleep alone."_

_"So could you. But oh wait! You're a badass who absolutely does not like to cuddle."_

_"Shut up."_ Lexa grumbled.

 _"Seriously Lex, I'm your twin, i already know you're a softy, you don't need to pretend in front of me."_ Alicia said seriously.

 _"I know."_ Lexa mumbled, burying her face in the crook of Alicia's neck.

Alicia and Alexandria Clark are the last remaining of their large group. They barely managed to escape the burning stadium, but the other's weren't so lucky - Madison, Nick, Strand, Luciana - none of them made it out. 

That was months ago. The burns from the stadium have long since healed but the emotional scars haven't - the nightmares and the emptiness, throw some guilt in there. But they're glad they're together - the world is a bit more bearable when they're together.

After avenging the death of their family and friends but annihilating all the vultures, they had nothing to do - nothing to look forward to. They stayed with Morgan and the rest for a while, but now, they're just moving around with no aim, not staying in one place for too long - avoiding all settlements they came across - no place is safe afterall. Settling was not an option, the only thing one can do is keep moving forward.

With nothing better to do, they decided to go up north to their cousin's home - hopefully they're alive - probably not. But it gave them something to look forward to. Their cousins were strong and smart, they probably survived.

 _"Do you ever think about them - Matt and Jake?"_ Lexa asked suddenly.

_"Not really. I loved them i think, they were easy to be with, a nice distraction i guess from all the shit, but i wasn't in love with them. I don't even know what love is, but that wasn't it. They're dead anyways, so it doesn't matter. What about you? Do you still think about Costia?"_

_"She broke my heart before everything went down. Why would i think about her?"_ Lexa scoffed.

Costia - Lexa's ex before the dead rose - cheated on her with her rival. It broke her, made her doubt herself, she felt worthless. Was she so easy to be thrown away? Was she not good enough? If it wasn't for Alicia, she would have never got out of that dark place.

 _"She's the only one you've been your whole life! That bitch gave you some serious issues."_ Alicia laughed.

 _"Let's not talk about my issues."_ Lexa elbowed her.

 _"Ow! You started this!"_ Alicia said and pushed Lexa away. 

_"I'm exhausted! Please let me sleep."_ Lexa whined and droped on top of Alicia. 

Alicia giggled loudly but didn't push Lexa away. Lexa settled on her side once again. She was really exhausted from walking and killing walkers the whole day, she didn't got much sleep last night either.

_"I told you to take it easy. I could've taken watch last night and carried my bag today. But you had to be so stubborn."_

_"You twisted your ankle, Lysh. You needed the rest. You would've done the same for me."_

_"Take care of yourself too, Lex."_ Alicia said, running her hands through Lexa's hairs. 

The only difference between Lexa and Alicia is their hair. Lexa's hair is a darker blackish brown and Alicia's hair are light caramel brown - everything else is the same - not the personalities though. Lexa is more reserved and doesn't like showing much emotions in front of people that are not her twin.

Alicia on the other hand is pretty outgoing. She's never had problem showing her emotions or making friends. But people are always more attracted to Lexa - she has a natural leadership aura. Plus, Lexa is so gay, but Alicia is bi.

 _"Did you hear that?"_ Alicia said suddenly.

 _"Hmmm?"_ Lexa hummed sleepyly.

 _"Lex! Wake up."_ Alicia shook her awake.

 _"What?"_ Lexa sat up with a frown, what part of she's fucking exhausted is not understandable.

 _"There are people nearby._ " Alicia whispered.

Lexa looked to where Alicia was pointing and shook her head slightly to focus, sure enough they could hear people taking and laughing a bit too loudly.

 _"We should leave. They sound like trouble."_ Lexa whispered back.

 _"Yeah."_ Alicia agreed.

They quickly got busy packing the small blanket and cover they had - sleeping on the ground without laying anything on it was not advised, the grass is really uncomfortable and it tickles. They were glad it wasn't too cold that night, so they didn't set up a fire - in truth, it was pretty chilly but both felt too lazy.

 _"I can't belive it! Did these troublesome bunch had to camp near us? Couldn't they go away? I just wanted to fucking sleep!"_ Lexa grumbled unhappily, _"Can you believe our luck? There's so much empty space in the entire fucking world to camp and these people decide where? Near us! Fucking little shits."_

Alicia bit her lip to keep herself from laughing out loud. A sleep-less Lexa, is a grumpy Lexa who snaps at everything and anything - not even a small rock that comes in her path is spared - it's best not to laugh at her. Alicia learnt that from years of experience.

 _"Let's go."_ she said quietly.

The twins secured the bags and their beloved weapons - Lexa's dual swords on her back and throwing knives strapped to her thighs and hidden under the sleeves of her flannel & Alicia's butterfly knife tucked in her boots and the sharpened gun barrel on her waist - and were ready to move. 

_"Don't fucking touch me!"_ they heard a girl - sounded pretty young - scream.

 _"Don't worry, well take good care of you, girly." "You should shut up and do what you were born to do."_ two other voices - two guys - said.

 _"Lex."_ Alicia grabbed her arm.

 _"Okay."_ Lexa replied.

There was no way they could ignore that and just up and leave. They had no other choice but to help the other girl. It's the right thing - the only thing really - to do.

They tip toed towards the sound. They decided to hide behind a bush and observe instead of just jumping straight in. The scene in front of them made their blood boil. A little girl - no more older than 12 - was struggling against the hold of a bulky guy around her face with three others around them laughing at her tears and struggle.

_No guns. You take the girl, I'll take the guys._

_Be careful Lex._

_Thank god for twin telepathy._ Alicia grinned.

Lexa rolled her eyes but smiled anyways at her twin's antics. Leave it to Alicia to find the positive in a fucked up situation.

 _"Hey!"_ Lexa stepped out of the bush, _"Leave the girl alone."_

Alicia quietly walked over to the bush besides the guy holding the girl. She would grab the girl as soon as he loosend his hold - she didn't want to hurt the girl.

 _"Why don't you take her place? I bet you're more experienced."_ one of the guy grinned at her.

 _"Gross. This is why I'm not into guys. You're all just so fucking gross. Have you even seen your face? I would wouldn't touch that fave even with my feet. You're all so fucking disgusting."_ she spat.

 _"You bitch."_ one of them came at her with a machete in his hand.

He swinged it at her, but she already saw it coming, his movements were pretty slow and ducked - the blade missing her by a foot.

 _"You're pathetic. Can't even swing it properly."_ she said.

That seemed to do the trick and the guy holding the girl - probably the leader - pushed her away and grabbed his axe. Alicia took that chance and grabbed the girl before she hit the ground.

 _"Hey, it's okay. You're safe. We're here to help okay?"_ Alicia said. 

The girl nodded frantically and burst into tears, brutal sobs wracking her body. Alicia lifted her up, guiding her head to her shoulder to muffle the sound of her sobs. The girl tightened her hold around Alicia's neck.

 _"Looks like I'll have to teach you a lesson. You obviously need to learn your place, beneath me."_ the leader guy said.

 _"Don't you know? The commander does not kneel for anyone."_ Lexa grinned and winked at Alicia. 

Alicia huffed out a laugh and shook her head at her twin's behavior.They used to play this game when they were younger with all the kids in the neighborhood - Lexa was always their commander, the leader - they never really grew out of it.

 _"Shut up! You fucking bitch. Who the fuck do you -"_ the leader guy growled.

 _"No. Who the fuck do you think you are? Coming here and disrupting my sleep."_ Lexa cut him off. 

She was really exhausted and now really annoyed all because of these assholes who think they're better than others just because they're guys. She hates people like these.

One of the guy standing besides the leader came at her with a knife, aiming for her stomach. She easily side stepped him, grabbed his hairs and crashed his face against a tree. The loud crack was probably his nose. He fell on the ground with a howl, blood seeping from where he cupped his nose.

 _"I don't want any trouble, okay? We have the girl, let us go. No one has to get hurt."_ Lexa said.

But of course no one listened to her - _why don't they ever listen?_ \- the two other guys did not learn from their fallen friend. That is why they ended up like him - one with cracked ribs and another with brusied ones. Atleast the leader was smart. Seeing the condition of his boys he backed off. 

_"Fine. Take the girl. Leave us alone."_ he said raising his hands in surrender.

 _"Good boy. You can have a treat now."_ she said and walked across him towards Alicia.

 _"That was so hot."_ Alicia laughed.

 _"Let's go. Is the girl okay?"_ Lexa asked. 

_"Passed out after crying her heart out."_ Alicia informed.

 _"Are you fine? Do you need me to take her?"_ Lexa asked.

 _"It's fine. She's not that heavy."_ Alicia waved her off, _"They'll come after is again won't they?"_

_"I hope not."_

_"You humiliated them and hurt their man-ego."_

_"We'll handle them if they come for more."_ Lexa replied.

The two walked in silence, avoiding the few stranglers around them - since it was dark, it's better to not engage with them, who knows how many are hiding nearby. They walked on the side of the road carefully - fully alert of any pursuers, human or not.

 _"Hey look! A dirt road. Probably leads to a cabin. Let's rest a bit."_ Alicia said after probably two hours of walking.

 _"Sure."_ Lexa lead the way.

The dirt road did end up at a cabin. It was a small cabin with a bedroom, a living room and a kitchen and a detached bathroom. There were no walkers in the cabin and it looked pretty empty - as if no one's lived here for a long time - no pictures or any personal belongings.

Alicia gently layed the girl on the bed and covered her small body with the covers at the foot of the bed - at least they looked clean. Lexa looked around the house to see if they found anything good.

 _"Got some food and water."_ Lexa came into the bedroom with her bag full of canned food and water bottles _, "Give me your bag, there's some more left. This place is a jackpot. But there's no medical supplies. We don't have much left."_

 _"We deserve something good once in a while, as far as medical supplies are concerned we'll just have to not get hurt i guess."_ Alicia grinned and handed her bag to Lexa. 

_"I'm serious Lysh. Let's stock up in the next town. Some antibiotics, antiseptic, gauze, bandages and all. We only have antibiotics of a day worth and the antiseptic is almost over. Bandages and gauze are non-existent."_ Lexa said.

 _"We'll find some. I'm the doctor, let me choose the meds we should keep. You'll just pick up useless ones again."_ Alicia said.

 _"It was once, Lysh. Let it go. And you're not a doctor."_ Lexa grumbled. Once she had accidentally picked up a few useless meds while on a supply run - Alicia does not let her live it down.

 _"One times too many."_ Alicia laughed, _"I used to volunteer in a hospital, that's gotta count for something."_

With both their bags full of food, water and a few extra clothes, meager medical supplies and sheets they settled on the floor of the bedroom - neither wanted leave the girl alone in case she woke up freaked out.

 _"She's so young."_ Lexa said. 

_"Yeah. Do you think she has a family? I hope she does. We can take her to them? Right?"_ Alicia layed her head on Lexa's shoulder.

 _"It's not like we have anything better to do."_ Lexa shrugged.

_"She can come with us if she wants to. Seeing my own face everyday is boring. Even if it's a really pretty face."_

Lexa just rolled her eyes.

The girl jolted awake, her breathing ragged and harsh. She looked around frantically until her eyes landed on the twins sitting across her. She panicked for a moment until she remember how they helped her. 

_"Hey it's okay. You're safe now. Everything's fine. We're here. We'll keep you safe."_ Lexa said gently.

 _"Thank you."_ the girl said, tears falling from her eyes.

Lexa was besides her in an intant, wrapping her arms around the small brunette and humming softly to calm her. Alicia just stood back and watched - it wasn't daily she got to watch Lexa being soft with other's. 

When the girl finally stopped crying, Lexa let her go and grabbed the bottle of water from Alicia, handing it to the girl.

_"Drink this. You must be dehydrated from all the crying. Are you hungry?"_

The girl took the bottle and nodded.

Alicia pulled out the only chocolate bar they had that was not expired. She stared at it longingly before handing it to Lexa - the girl needed it more than her.

 _"I'm Lexa and this is my twin Alicia."_ Lexa said as the kid practically inhaled the water and chocolate.

_"I'm Madi. Thank you for helping me."_

_"We're glad we could help Madi."_ Lexa smiled at her.

 _"Do you have anywhere to go back to? We can take you if you want?"_ Alicia asked.

 _"My mom and her friends would be looking for me. We have a large settlement up North."_ Madi replied.

 _"Okay. We'll take you there. We'll rest a bit before leaving in the morning."_ Lexa said and took her place on the floor besides Alicia.

 _"But you don't even know me. So why are you helping me?"_ Madi asked.

 _"No one's gone until they're gone."_ Alicia replied.

 _"We're all in this together. If humans won't help each other, who will?"_ Lexa said.

Madi nodded at the two, she didn't really understand why two complete strangers would be so willing to help her but she knew they didn't mean any harm. They seems really nice - it was definitely the chocolate.

 _"Told you they'll be back."_ Alicia said as they heard the screeching of tires.

 _"I tried okay? I gave them a chance to live."_ Lexa signed, she doesn't enjoy killing people but people don't leave her a choice.

_"Lysh, take Madi and get out from the back window-"_

_"And leave you to handle 4 engraged guys alone? No. Let me help you too, Lex. You don't have to do it alone."_ Alicia said softly.

Lexa always does this, ever since they reunited about an year ago in Tijuana - the dam incident was the biggest proof of it - in many ways Lexa is just like Nick. She always puts Alicia before herself - as if her own life does not matter - as if Alicia can't hold her own in a fight even though Lexa is a way better fighter. 

_"Lysh......"_ Lexa sighed, _"You're right. Hide Madi and help me?"_

 _"Okay."_ Alicia ushered Madi into the closet in the bedroom. 

_"Sorry for pushing you into a closet."_ She laughed at her own joke, _"But stay put until me or Lexa call you."_

 _"Okay. Please be safe."_ Madi said.

 _"We always are."_ Alicia winked at her and joined Lexa outside. 

_"I spared your lives once. I won't do it again._ " Lexa said.

 _"Bitch you just caught us off guard."_ broken nose guy said.

 _"Oh wow there's two. I'll have plenty of fun with you two. I've always wanted to do it with twins anyways."_ leader guy said.

 _"I'm giving you guys one last chance to get out of here alive."_ Lexa gritted her teeth in anger.

 _"You'll wish you were dead after I'm done with you."_ leader guy said.

Lexa sighed and shook her head. Why did they have to make this so hard. She gave them two chances and they threw both away.

 _"Fine have it your way."_ Lexa said and grabbed a throwing knife from her thigh strap.

She threw it at the broken ribs guy and it embedded itself in his skull with a sick thunk. Blood flowed down the middle of his face and his limp body collapsed on the ground.

 _"If you don't want to be like him, turn around. Go back to whatever hole you crawled up from."_ Lexa tried one last time.

That's when all hell broke loose. A few walkers emerged from the tree lines - probably attracted to the blood and noise - and the three remaining guys charged at Lexa and Alicia.

Everything after thay happened in a blur of blood, screams and groans. 

Lexa pulled out her bloodied sword from the last walker's head and wiped it clean on it's clothes before sheathing it again. She was thankfully not covered in blood - she did her best to avoid getting blood on herself.

When she looked around for Alicia her heart froze at the sight.

Alicia - leaning heavily on the hood of the car - while clutching her stomach. The hilt of a knife clearly visible in the moonlight as blood dripped on the ground in a steady flow. Alicia looked over at Lexa with horror and pain in her eyes.

 _"No."_ Lexa muttered.

 _"I.....'m....... sor....ry."_ Alicia gasped before she collapsed.


	2. Some Things Never Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy ~

Lexa tore open her flannel - it had gotten cold overtime and she just had a sports bra underneath it, but the cold was the least of her worries. She would be annoyed or sad even for losing a great shirt which she managed to not get dirty, but she can't really focus on anything expect her twin bleeding out.

 _"No. No. Please. No. Don't die Alicia. Please don't."_ she muttered.

 _"Fu...cking......hu...rts."_ Alicia cried, tears streamed down her face as she tried her best to not be loud.

Lexa carefully tore away the lower part of Alicia's shirt to get a better view on the wound and wrapped her shirt around the knife, not wanting to push it in further or even take it out and pressed on the wound.

She was never really a religious person, but she prayed to whatever god existed for Alicia to live. 

Alicia is like her other half, her only family left, her life. Lexa can't live in this messed up world without her twin - the one with a fucked up sense of humor who doesn't let go of any chance to annoy her - she just can't live without her.

 _"MADI!"_ Lexa shouted.

Inside the cabin, Madi pushed open the closet door and bolted out. That shout did not sound good. Something must be wrong. She stepped out and immediately covered her mouth, trying to not puke her guts out at the mess of blood and gore in front of her. 

She's not been out in the wild much - ever since the settlement, about two years ago, the beginning of the apocalypse really - and even when she is the adults keep it less graphic around her - well, anything would be less graphic than this. 

She looked to where Lexa was kneeled near the car, it wasn't that hard to differentiate the two - Alicia was nowhere in sight and she felt a slight panic at that. Madi ran over to her, avoiding the mess. She gasped when she saw Alicia on the ground with a knife sticking out of her stomach.

 _"I need you to keep pressure over here. Don't press too much and don't even touch the knife. Okay?"_ Lexa said. 

_"Okay."_ she replied and took Lexa's previous position.

Alicia wasn't much for cursing, but this situation was too fucked up - either she would scream or curse and the latter was less loud. She should probably not curse so explicitly around a kid - but hey! give her a break it hurts - plus the world's messed up anyways.

Lexa bolted up the moment Madi had settled with proper pressure on Alicia's wound. She ran into the cabin and flung the two bags over her shoulders and ran out - not sparing the mess another glance. She threw the two bags near the car and went over to the bodies littering the floor.

 _"Lexa!"_ Madi called out as a walker came out of the trees.

 _"Fucking shit. Stay the fuck away from them."_ Lexa spat and ran back to it and drove her blade through it's skull.

She rummaged the bodies to find the car keys - one of them must be having it - but she had no time to celebrate when she got the keys. They had made too much of a ruckus here - the place would be swarmed soon, she could already hear them coming.

 _"Madi, check the bodies for anything usefull."_ Lexa instructed, _"all weapons, anything that looks interesting throw them in the passenger seat."_

Lexa might be freaking out and her voice sounds strained - her throat is constricted from all the emotions she's burying down - but she knows the difference a few supplies could make. She probably should not give a kid a job like this - searching through dead bodies covered in blood and gore - but she can't seem to care. The kid would have to learn it soon anyways, if she wants to survive. 

_"Okay."_ Madi gulped as she got up.

Back home, the adults didn't let her do much of the dirty work - like searching for supplies from dead bodies. She would feel proud that Lexa trusted her with the job if it wasn't the urgency of the situation and the fact that Lexa doesn't really have a choice. The job wasn't nice either - it wad kinda really gross - but if Lexa said to, then it must be important.

While Madi rummaged the bodies, Lexa opened the backdoor of the car and very carefully lifted Alicia.

_"Lex....... if i di-"_

_"No. We are not doing this."_ Lexa shook her head, she can't - she won't - accept it.

 _"Lex.... please. Just.....liste...en."_ Alicia pleaded, _"Live.... ok...ay? No o....ne's........ gone......un....til the..y're......gone."_

 _"No. You're not going anywhere. I can't Lysh. Not without you. I can't."_ Lexa cried, tears steaming down her face.

She wanted to break down and cry her eyes out because Alicia was hurt and she could feel the pain too - damn twintution. It hurts so much that she has no idea how she's still going, but knows she has to - for Alicia.

 _"You are Alicia Clark. The sensible, smart, intelligent, strong and sometimes badass twin. You are not giving up. Do you hear me?"_ Lexa said sternly.

_"Some...times?"_

_"That's what you got from it? Okay fine. Most of the times."_ Lexa shook her head.

_How can someone be dying and still crack a joke._

_"Okay."_ Alicia said. 

_"Good. Just hold on."_ Lexa set her down on the back seat.

Madi gathered the machetes and axe from the bodies - they didn't had anything else that looked remotely interesting or useful and she didn't really want to touch anything or anyone - and kept them on the passenger seat, with the bags - the axe was really heavy. She stood gaurd as Lexa lowered Alicia on the back seat.

Alicia cried out in pain as the knife moved a bit. 

_"Shit. Fuck. Sorry."_ Lexa apologized.

 _"It's Fi..ne."_ she gritted her teeth, it hurt too fucking much. 

_"Madi, keep the pressure."_ Lexa said.

Madi nodded and got in the backseat as Lexa walked over to the driver's seat. Madi settled on the car floor and pressed over the shirt, the bleeding hadn't stopped yet - even if they somehow stitched the wound up, assuming they have a suture kit, Alicia would've lost too much blood.

 _"Lexa..... You....re a...... lesb...ian...... a terr....ible driv....er."_ Alicia laughed and hissed in pain from the movement.

 _"Alicia Clark, you are so dead after you get better. Just shut up and save your strength."_ Lexa scolded.

Despite popular - used to be popular, who knows about now - stereotypes, Lexa is actually a pretty good driver. She slowly reversed the car off the dirt road and onto the main without a bump. 

_"My mom!"_ Madi spoke up, _"My mom used to be a med student. She'll be able to help."_

 _"Try contacting her."_ Lexa handed her walky to Madi.

Madi maneuvered the walky to her right hand while maintaining the pressure with her left. If Alicia died, Lexa would be very sad and it would indirectly be her fault - Alicia got hurt because of her - Madi did not want that. Alicia was nice kind of like her aunt Raven.

 _"It's Madi. Does anybody copy?"_ she spoke into the walky.

 _"Holy shit?!! Madi? Is it really you? Are you okay? Where are you? Fucking hell we've been searching for a week now!"_ the reply came after a few minutes.

 _"I'm fine. Where's my mom?"_ Madi said impatiently - as much as she loves Raven now's not the time to exchange pleasantries.

_"She's catching up on a week of sleep, had to force her to. Sleep-less Clarke is too grumpy and snappy."_

_"Sou..nds li...ke som....eone i kno...w."_ Alicia said and Lexa laughed through the tears - leave it to Alicia to make her laugh while she's crying. 

_"Where are you guys? I'm coming over with two others. They were helping me and got hurt. Badly. You have to help."_ Madi said.

_"Are you sure they're safe?"_

Lexa ran a hand through her hairs in frustration and grabbed the walky from Madi - she would beg if she had to - anything for Alicia. 

_"Look, we don't want anything else from you guys. Okay? Madi said you can help my sister. Just do that and we'll be on our way. Please."_ she added at the end.

There was a brief pause at the other end - whoever 'they' are must be discussing among themselves. It broke Lexa's heart and made her angry that her sister's life depends on a bunch of strangers, but that's a better alternative than death.

_"Okay. We'll help. How far are you from mile marker 23?"_

_"We'll be there in 15."_ Lexa said.

 _"Lex?"_ Alicia said.

_"Yeah?"_

_"I love you, okay? If..... if i don't...... make it...... i need you....to ..... know that."_

_"I love you too, Lysh. And you are going to make it."_ Lexa said firmly.

 _"My mom's a really good doctor."_ Madi added helpfuly.

 _"I hope you're right."_ Lexa sighed.

Lexa drove like a madwoman - which she technically was because, let's be honest who can stay sane in a world like this - if Travis ever saw her driving like this, he would probably have a stroke.

She slowed down before coming to a stop when they reached 23. Lexa and Alicia don't really use guns because they're loud and just bring more trouble with walkers, but for dealing with humans guns are a must - walkers are dumb, humans are not, well some of them.

Lexa pulled out her glock and flashlight from the tool belt and stepped outside carefully. It was still pretty dark and anything could jump out of the woods, it's better to have a light in case it's not a walker.

 _"We've got Madi."_ she said, _"We walkied you just now."_

A figure stepped out of the dark and started walking towards the car.

 _"Stop right there!"_ Lexa said and the figure froze.

 _"Madi, do you know her?"_ Lexa asked as she shone the light on the figure.

It was a short brunette girl. She stood there with a sword in one hand and the other covering her eyes. 

_"Fuck. Keep the lights down, will you."_ the girl said.

 _"Aunty O!"_ Madi said excitedly from inside the car, she still had to keep the pressure on the wound.

Lexa lowered the light and gun, tucking them back in the tool belt. She walked over to the backseat and opened the door for Madi to get out. She had expected Madi to bolt out the second she recognized the person.

 _"Be careful. Don't trip."_ she said as Madi ran out of the car.

Madi ran over to O and jumped in her arms, letting out a few more tears as she was finally back with her family. O tightened her grip around Madi, letting her cry over her shoulder. 

_"You had us worried kiddo."_ O ruffled her hair's affectionately.

 _"Sorry to interrupt the reunion, but my sister's kind of bleeding to death here."_ Lexa said.

 _"Right. Follow me."_ O let Madi down.

Lexa nodded and picked Alicia up - bridal style - so she could keep the pressure on her wound while carrying her. The bleeding had reduced a bit, but removing the knife would probably make it start again.

 _"Fuck!"_ Alicia hissed.

 _"Hey, just hang on, okay? We're almost most there. You did so good. Just a bit more."_ Lexa cooed as she silently followed the other two through the woods.

 _"Yeah?"_ Alicia asked breathlessly.

_"Yeah. You're gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. Just get you patched up and the we can be on the road again. Okay?"_

_"Mmkay."_

They stepped into a clearing about 10 minutes from the car. There was a fire light in the middle with 5 tents surrounding it. A blonde and another brunette stood in front of one of the tents.

Madi ran straight to the blonde and hugged her tightly. Lexa saw the blonde cry a bit while the other brunette just smiled brightly at the pair. It became pretty clear to Lexa - the blonde was Madi's mother and the other brunette was probably the one on the walky.

 _"I'm Octavia. The blonde is Clarke and the other one is Raven."_ Octavia said.

_"Lexa. This is Alicia."_

_"In this tent, we've got the med stuff in there."_

Lexa followed Octavia into the tent and layed Alicia on one of the makeshift bed. Alicia cursed and hissed in pain and Lexa was trying her hardest to not snap at the others to hurry up. Thankfully she didn't had to wait long.

 _"Everyone else leave. This tent is already small and i need space."_ the blonde - Clarke - said.

 _"Go....I'll be fine."_ Alicia said when Lexa hesitated.

Lexa looked at the blonde and back at her twin. She swallowed down the surge of emotions and placed a light kiss at Alicia's sweaty forehead and stepped out of the tent.

She sighed and slumped down near the fire, keeping one eye at the tent. The other three had vanished, probably in one of the tent. She rubbed her arms, trying to warm herself - it was a chilly night and she wasn't covered much - she was thankful for the fire. The tears had stopped but the pain hadn't. 

When someone touched her shoulder she freaked out and instantly pulled out one of her may knives in alarm - her tired body instantly going into panic mode. She calmed down a bit to see her knife at the throat of the brunette from earlier - Raven. She sighed and pulled back, placing the knife at it's respectful place.

 _"Don't fucking sneak up on me."_ she snapped.

 _"I didn't know you had assassin level skills."_ Raven laughed as she sat besides Lexa.

_"Well, now you do."_

_"Here."_ Raven offered a cup to Lexa.

Lexa just stared at it suspiciously.

 _"It's not posion."_ Raven rolled her eyes, _"Hot chocolate, with milk."_

Lexa's eyes light up at that. It's been a long while since she had hot chocolate. She gingerly took the cup from Raven and took a tentative sip. Her entire body deflated as the warm liquid made it's way down her throat and she sighed contently.

 _"What?"_ she asked when Raven giggled.

 _"You're adorable when you're not threatening to kill anyone."_ Raven replied.

Lexa rolled her eyes, not bothering a reply as she sipped her drink. If heaven ever existed, they definitely had hot chocolate.

_"I'm Raven."_

_"I know. Lexa."_

_"I know. So you and your sister are twins huh."_ Raven said.

Lexa stiffened. Twins. Being twins in the post apocalyptic world had it's disadvantages - people are superstitious and have dangerous fetishes and there's no law to stop anyone anymore - Lexa and Alicia learnt that the hard way.

 _"What of it?"_ she growled.

 _"Woah. Chill, dude. We don't mean any harm. We're not that kind of people."_ Raven scooted away from Lexa, getting punched/hit/stabbed/killed was not in her to-do list.

 _"You'll be surprised how many times i heard those words from that kind of people."_ Lexa scoffed.

 _"Well hate to point out but your twin's life kinda depends on us."_ Raven realized her mistake as soon as she said it.

Lexa slamed the empty cup on the ground and grabbed Raven by her shirt, with a knife on her throat - again - but this time, intentionally.

 _"If you dare to threaten my sister again, I will end you."_ she said calmly - which sounded much scarier than when she's angry.

 _"Woah! Hey! Let her go."_ O said as she stepped into view.

Lexa looked over at Octavia standing a few feet away and back at Raven. She scoffed and pushed Raven away, taking her previous seat again. 

Raven scrambled away from Lexa in fear. She's pretty sure she died a little from the death glare. She didn't doubt even a bit, Lexa would do what she said - she seemed really protective of her sister - an understatement really.

 _"Madi said some good stuff about you, so I'm letting it slide this time, but watch yourself."_ Octavia warned - the look in Lexa's eyes a moment earlier sent chills through her body - it was terrifying.

 _"Tell your friend here to not bother me again."_ Lexa glared at Raven.

 _"Rae."_ Octavia said and Raven sighed and walked away, back to her tent.

 _"I'm sorry for whatever she might have said or done. She didn't mean anything bad by it."_ Octavia sat across Lexa - not wanting to be in hit range, though a small part of her said, it didn't matter how far she sat.

 _"It's fine."_ Lexa said as she stared into the fire.

Clarke stepped out of the tent and walked over to Lexa. Lexa searched her face for a clue to her sister's condition and sighed in relief when Clarke didn't look apologetic in the least, because that's how you look at someone you're going to tell bad news to.

 _"I've stitched the wound up but she lost too much blood. We'll have to do a blood transfusion."_ Clarke explained.

 _"We're both O negative."_ Lexa said and stood up.

_"Great, i don't think anyone here is an O, except Madi. Follow me."_

Lexa followed Clarke nervously. Is this a good time to mention she's slightly anemic? Because she's pretty sure she should not be donating blood when she doesn't have much. But it's Alicia. And how much blood would it take.

A lot. It took quite a lot of blood. 

Lexa thanked Clarke, kissed Alicia's forhead again and pulled the covers over her snugly. Alicia was asleep - she had passed out, Clarke said - she looked peaceful and Lexa felt a bit weird because she was looking at her own face. 

She stepped out of the tent and trudged over to sit by the fire. It was really cold or maybe it was because she lost a lot of blood but she was shivering. She collapsed close to the fire - it was freezing. She would probably have to rest a lot for the next few days.

Her body and mind were really exhausted and she was awake only by sheer willpower now. There's no way she can fall asleep or even pass out in an unsafe environment, surrounded by unknown - possibly threatening - people while Alicia wasn't conscious.

 _"Are you okay? You look a bit pale."_ Octavia said.

It was her and Clarke's turn to keep a watch but she sent Clarke back to her tent to talk and cry with Madi. They didn't even know whether Madi was dead or alive for a week and it took a toll on Clarke. She deserved to spend more time with her.

 _"Just peachy."_ Lexa slurred her words slightly.

_You'll do no one any good if you uselessly stay up. You can't even stand, how will you keep Alicia and yourself safe?_

_"If you say so."_ Octavia looked at her with concern. Lexa looked awfully pale and she just slurred her words a bit. Is she bit? She does look sick. She would just have to keep an eye on her.

Octavia smiled when she saw a tent flap open and a bulky guy stepped out. He stretched a bit before smiling back at Octavia.

 _"Hey, babe."_ she said.

 _"Hey, who's this?"_ he asked when he noticed someone slumped near the fire with their - her - back to him.

Lexa shook her head when the familiar voice reached her ears. Does blood loss cause auditory hallucinations? Because it sounded awfully lot like her - possible dead, but hopefully not - cousin who lived in Canada - one of the three.

She turned around to search the source of the voice. Her eyes widened when she saw the guy standing a few feey away from her. She blinked a few times - just to make sure it was real and not a hallucination.

_"Lincoln?"_

The boy gasped when he saw her face and heard her call him. He hadn't seen or heard from her in two years - he thought she was dead after the news about LA being bombed by the military - but there was always a small part of him that hoped, afterall there's no way she could've died so easily - she was - is - the best of them. But overtimes that part of him slowly dwindled because she would've found a way to contact him if she was alive.

_"Lexa?!"_

_"It's really you._ " Lexa breathed.

Lexa stood up unsteadily, when really she shouldn't have. She took just one step towards the boy before her legs gave out. But Lincoln was besides her in an instant, holding her up while scanning for any injuries.

 _"Are you okay? You're not bit are you?"_ he asked worriedly.

 _"Had to give blood to Lysha."_ Lexa replied with a smile, she really missed Lincoln being protective and fussing over her because she was a reckless kid - still is.

Lincoln, Anya, Aden and Lexa, Alicia, Nick are cousins. They were also neighbors back in LA until Lincoln's family had to move to Canada 3 months before the dead rose. The six weren't close at first because their parents had some sort of dispute. But when theh were 8, Lexa saved Lincoln from a bunch of bullies - from them, the six gradually got closer. 

_"I'm also a bit anemic."_ Lexa added.

 _"Some things never change, do they."_ he laughed fondly at all the memories of Lexa putting herself in danger to save them.

 _"They sure don't."_ Lexa laughed.

 _"Nick's not with you?"_ he asked.

Lexa shook her head. They would have to talk later - who's alive who's not. Lexa hope Lincoln being safe meant Anya and Aden were safe too. Anya was like an older sister to the twins amd Aden was a little brother - she wanted to see them again.

He hugged her tightly - almost too tightly, but Lexa hugged him back almost as tightly. She had missed him, and Anya and Aden - the feeling of being safe and secure because you know there are people who always have your back.

Alicia would be so happy to she hear this. Lexa can already hear Alicia saying 'maybe i should get stabbed often so good thins happen'.

_It's safe now._

Lexa smiled at the thought. 

_"I'm going to pass out."_ she mumbled before doing just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be Clarke's pov~  
> .  
> leave comments and kudos, makes me feel better about my shitty writing and provides much needed motivation to write more :)


	3. Isn't Everyone And Everything Dangerous Anyways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy ~

_"You need to rest Clarke."_ Raven said.

_"What i need, Rae, is to find my daughter."_ Clarke scoffed.

How could she even think of resting when her 12 year daughter is out here somewhere without any weapon or supplies or maybe captured by the mountain men or Azgeda - there was no good scenario in this situation.

Madi could either be dead - or undead - or captured by the Azgeda savages. In the worst case scenario, the mountain men could've captured her - Madi is special and they know that.

_"You haven't had proper rest in a week Clarke! No one would blame you if you sleep for more than two hours."_ Raven tried again.

Madi went missing on a run almost a week ago. Usually Clarke, Octavia or Murphy went with her, but they were busy and Raven doesn't go outside Arcadia unless absolutely required, so Madi went with Bellamy, Finn and a bunch of others. Clarke obviously didn't like that but she knew Madi needed to learn how to survive without her.

Out of the 8 people that went on run, only two came back - Bellamy and Finn, in a bloodied condition - they said they were attacked by Azgeda and had to idea what happened to the others as they got separated.

Clarke was furious. She trusted them with Madi - something she rarely ever did because Madi is her whole life. None of their explanations mattered to her because in the end they ran way to save their own skin - cowards.

The very next day Clarke set out to find and bring back Madi - she would do it alone if she had to, no one else wanted to waste resources in someone who was probably dead, but Madi was her daughter, her whole life, she couldn't just not care. 

Clarke, Raven and Octavia were friends since before the dead rose. As they learned to survive the apocalypse together and found new people their small group of trusted people grew - Luna, Murphy, Lincoln, Anya and Aden - they all had known each other for almost two year and they could always count on each other. 

So there was no way they would let a distraught Clarke go by herself, so the 8 set out to look for the missing kid - the higher ups in Arcadia were not happy with the decision but then again none of them cared about the rules.

They've covered almost a 20 mile radius from Arcadia with no sign of Madi. They've searched everywhere - the woods, abandoned houses, the towns - but no good result. No one said this but they were starting to lose hope - even Clarke.

Madi was a smart kid - there was no doubt in that. If she had survived she would've managed to contact them in anyways or atleast left some signs for them to follow - unless she was captured by the wrong people - no one wanted to think about this possibility.

_"Clarke. Let's go back to the rendezvous. It's almost dark, we won't find anything anyways."_

_"You don't get it!" Clarke slammed the break._

A loud yelp from the backseat had her apologizing to the dog - Picasso. They had found him roaming in the wild and the dog took a liking to Madi and Clarke could never really say no the that face. Clarke was just glad Picasso was trained nicely so she would always accompanied them on a run.

_"Then talk to me Clarke! You've been snappy and shut off this whole time. You're not alone, I'm here, O, Murphy, Linc, Aden, Luna and Anya, we're all here for you. So please just don't bear it all by yourself."_ Raven pleaded.

_"You don't get it. She's..... Madi is different than us."_ Clarke whispered.

_"What do you mean?"_

_"She's...... she's not like us. Madi has a rare blood type. It was pretty rare in the old world and now it's even more rarer, that's why the mountain men want her. They'll experiment on her Rae but she's..... she's just a kid, Rae."_ Clarke said as tears steamed down her face. 

Clarke had found Madi on the streets 6 years ago. She was just 1 and starting to live her life independently and she found this abandoned kid - she couldn't just leave her there. She took the girl back to her shared apartment with Raven and Octavia - fed, bathed and clothed her and gave her a place to stay.

The next day they found out she had no family, no one to take her in or care for her. The child would end up in the foster system and Clarke just couldn't let it happen. In just one night Madi stole her heart - so the three friends pulled various legal and illegal strings - and finally almost an year later the child officially became Madi Griffin.

She found out during a blood test that Madi had a rare blood type and didn't really give another thought to that - just glad that if Madi ever needed blood she could get it from anyone or could give it to anyone.

About a month ago the mountain men somehow - Clarke had no idea how - found out about Madi's rare blood type. They claimed to be searching for a cure for the infection - but really they were just abducting people to experiment upon - and Madi was just the perfect specimen.

_"I've been trying to hide it all this time from everyone."_ Clarke said, since she was telling Raven, she might as well tell everything, _"the walkers ignore Madi. It's like she doesn't even exist. They'll just pass by her, if she doesn't make any sound she can even pass through a horde easily, that's how she survived when her school was swarmed in the beginning."_

Raven sat there frozen, trying to absorb the mountain of information Clarke just dumped at her. But there was only one thing on her mind.

_"Why didn't you tell us earlier? Did you not trust us to?"_ Raven looked hurt. Clarke was her best friend and she trusts her with her life. She would never betray Clarke, so why didn't she trust her enough to tell something this huge?

_"No. It's not that. I didn't want to put this burden on anyone. Your life might be in danger more than it already is. I don't know how, but the mountain men, they just know."_ Clarke explained hastily.

_"Is that why you're planning to leave Arcadia? Were you going to leave without ever telling me? Or O?"_

Clarke flinched at the accusation - mostly because Raven was right. She had planned to just slip out with Madi and leave a message for her friends - she didn't want to bother any of them. Arcadia is much safer than the world outside - just not for Madi.

_"How did you know?"_ Clarke asked.

_"I've known you for 10 years Clarke, Octavia also knows."_ Raven replied.

_"If i told you guys, you would've followed me."_

_"Of course."_ Raven scoffed. 

It wasn't even a debate. They would follow her to the end of the earth if that's whhat she wanted. That's just how their friendship worked.

_"If you come with me, what about Luna? And Lincoln? I can't let everyone's lives be ruined because of me. Arcadia is much safer than the outside world."_ Clarke argued.

_"Exactly. The world outside isn't safe, that's why you'll need help. Luna is a free spirit, you know she doesn't want to stay at Arcadia, the only reason she's there is because she loves me."_ Raven stated in a factly tone, _"the same goes for Lincoln, Pike will be glad to get rid of him."_

Pike is one of the leader in Arcadia. He's pretty selfish and only cares about himself but for some reason everyone respects him and follow him - he's good at manipulation. Lincoln hates his guts because he once sent Aden - a 16 year old, also Lincoln's kid brother - on a dangerous run without proper supplies just because he wanted some booze. Ever since then, Lincoln makes sure Pike doesn't get ahead of himself.

_"If Lincoln leaves so will Anya and Aden."_ Clarke tires even though she knows it's pointless.

_"They're the same. I'm pretty sure Anya dreams about killing Pike for sending Aden on that booze run every night. She'll be more than happy to leave. Aden is a ball of sunshine, he'll shine wherever he goes."_ Raven said dismissively, _"Murphy wouldn't want to get left behind either. We're the only ones who can tolerate that snarky little shit anyways."_

Clarke sighed and started the car again. There's no point arguing with Raven on this - she right afterall. Clarke hates the small part of her that hoped they would follow her - it was selfish of her to want them to uproot their relatively safer lives - because she knew they would follow her.

_"If you think this is the right thing to do, we can leave anytime. We'll go down south, preferably somewhere near the sea where it's warm because i fucking hate winters and a few years later when we have no clothes left we can just roam around in banana peels."_ Raven sighed dreamily.

Clarke chuckled lightly and shook her head. 

_"Thanks, Rae. For everything."_ Clarke said honestly.

_"You would do the same for me."_ Raven smiled, _"Just a heads up, O was furious when she found out, I barely stopped her from decking you. Or talking to you about it."_

_"That bad huh."_ Clarke sighed.

* * *

Raven sighed in relief when she finally convinced Clarke to sleep once they reached the small camp they had set. Anya would be back later - Lincoln, O, Aden and Murphy were asleep which left Raven and Luna to keep watch.

_"Hi."_ Luna said as she sat beside Raven.

_"Hey."_ Raven grinned and kissed Luna before snuggling up to her for warmth.

_"Is the fire not enough?"_ Luna chuckled.

_"Well you're certainly hotter."_ Raven smirked.

Luna shook her head fondly before wrapping a blanket around Raven and herself. 

Luna and Raven were dating even before the dead rose - they've been together for 3 years now. When it all started, Raven was here while Luna was in San Diego for some business. Raven had no idea if Luna was even alive for almost an year.

She almost went to San Diego to find her, but Clarke and Octvia stopped her from doing something that foolish. She wouldn't have survived if she went and even if she did, she would have no idea where to find Luna - if she would even find her alive.

So Raven waited. At first, she waited at their apartment - that would be the first place Luna would look for her - but the city wasn't safe anymore. So she had to leave, but she made sure to leave signs for Luna to follow when - if - she made her way back home.

A month passed by, then two and soon 8 months had passed but still no sign of Luna. Raven almost gave up - almost - but she couldn't, it was Luna afterall, she couldn't loose hope. Luna always said Raven was her home and she would always find her way back home.

It was finally 11 months later that Luna found Raven. They were camped out in a clearing in the forest and were just about to start dinner when they heard footsteps. By then, the 7 - Clarke, Octavia, Raven, Lincoln, Anya, Aden and Murphy - had enough experience to know that people weren't necessarily good - a lesson learnt from almost dying.

Luna stepped out of the woods very much covered in blood - they later found out she was covered in walker blood and not her own - Raven couldn't see her face, but she had known. The two lovers had just stared at each other for a long while before Raven had crumpled, but this time Luna was there to catch her. They had cried and kissed and promised to never let go.

Raven had wanted to burst into tears - again - when Luna told them how she escaped San Diego minutes before if was bombed in a stolen helicopter with another girl and an older women. She had travelled with the other two upto New Mexico where the older women had a safe house. She and the other girl had rejected the offer to stay but the woman was kind enough and told them they could come back when they found what they were looking for.

Luna and the other girl had travelled together until the other girl found what she was looking for - her family. She stayed with them for a while before she left once again to search for Raven. How she reached the swarmed apartment and then follwed the signs left behind.

Raven reminded herself to thank the unkown girl for saving Luna's life - if she ever met the girl. Luna did say that girl saved her life too many times to count.

_"I'm going to bed, having to carpool with Murphy and Aden is exhausting. I love Aden but he's too energetic and i swear Murphy will get himself killed if he doesn't learn to shut up."_ Luna grumbled.

_"Poor baby. You'll be with them tomorrow too."_ Raven laughed as she moved away to let Luna leave - Raven still had to keep watch.

_"Don't remind me. Good night, love."_ Luna kissed her softly before retreating back to their tent.

Raven sighed and relaxed near the fire. It was a cold night. Keeping watch alone never failed to bore her. So she grabbed the walky and began fiddling with it, might as well listen if any random stranger would be talking at the dead of the night.

_"It's Madi. Does anybody copy?"_

Raven jumped when the walky crackled to life. She somehow ended up punching herself in the face. She shook her head slightly and grabbed the walky, not sure if she hears right. 

_Was that really Madi or am i loosing my mind?_

_"Jeez Rae, if you wanted to be punched could've asked me."_ Octavia laughed as she sat beside her.

Raven ignored her. 

_"Holy shit?!! Madi? Is it really you? Are you okay? Where are you? Fucking hell we've been searching for a week now!"_ he exclaimed.

_"What? Madi?"_ Octavia asked.

Raven motioned for her to be quieter. If it wasn't Madi, she didn't want anyone else - Clarke - to hear and uselessly get her hopes up.

_"I'm fine. Where's my mom?"_ Madi sounded impatient.

_"She's catching up on a week of sleep, had to force her to. Sleep-less Clarke is too grumpy and snappy."_ Raven replied.

_"Ask her were she is."_ Octavia said.

_"Where are you guys? I'm coming over with two others. They were helping me and got hurt. Badly. You have to help."_ Madi said.

_"Are you sure they're safe?"_ Ravem frowned.

_"Look, we don't want anything else from you guys. Okay? Madi said you can help my sister. Just do that and we'll be on our way. Please."_ an unfamiliar voice said.

_"What to do? They could be dangerous. But they've got Madi."_ Raven asked.

_"They helped Madi, I'm sure it'll be fine. Madi is a smart kid. Tell them our location. Plus it's just two people."_ Octavia replied.

_"Okay. We'll help. How far are you from mile marker 23?"_

_"We'll be there in 15."_ the voice said again.

_"I'll go get them. You wake Clarke."_ Octavia grabbed her swords and walked away.

Raven got up buzzing with excitement as she skipped over to Clarke's tent. She opened the flap violently causing a sleeping Picasso and Clarke to jolt awake.

_"Easy, girls. It's just me."_ she said.

_"What the hell Rae?"_ Clarke groaned.

_"Guess who just called on the walky?"_ Raven grinned, _"It was Madi. She's coming over with two other people. One of them is hurt and we'll be needing doctor Clarke. O went to get them."_

Picasso whined as she heard Madi's name and Clarke just sat there dumbfounded, not exactly sure if this is a cruel dream or is it true - well she did just woke up.

_"What?"_ she asked.

_"Madi's coming!"_ Raven said again.

Clarke blinked a few times, trying to blink away the sleepy haze in her mind - she should've rested more earlier - but thats uo for debate later - Madi, her daughter who she's been looking for, is safe and she's coming back.

_"How? Is she........ is she okay?"_ Clarke asked as she grabbed her jacket and stepped out of the tent.

_"I don't know the details, but these two girls helped her and one of them got hurt and they're on the way here."_ Raveb explained.

Clarke just nodded - she didn't trust her voice at the moment. She just stood waiting in front of her tent - it's not that she didn't believe what Raven said, but she didn't want to get her hopes up - anything could happen and she's trying not to think about that.

Her head snapped up at the sound of footsteps and she stood up straighter. Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw Madi trail behind Octavia. She walked towards them as Madi ran to her.

She wrapped her arms tightly around Madi, not wanting to let go ever. For the first time in a week, she let herself cry - she was so afraid of what she might have found, if she would've found anything at all - seeing Madi safe and sound felt like a huge weight of her chest.

_"Shh, it's okay, baby. It's all okay now."_ she cooed as Madi sobbed against her.

_"You have to help Alicia."_ Madi said, sniffling, _"They helped me and because of that..."_

Clarke looked up to see the back of a girl vanish into one of the tents - that must be who Madi meant - she would have to thank them for helping Madi even when they didn't had to.

_"Mom. Go."_ Madi said and pulled away from Clarke.

_"Okay. Please be safe."_ Clarke said and kissed her forhead before heading to the tent.

She entered the small space to find Octavia and another brunette standing near the makeshift bed. Her eyes shifted to the body on the bed - a brunette who looked exactly like the one hovering over her - weirdly she's never seen twins even before the apocalypse.

_"Everyone else leave. This tent is already small and i need space."_ she said.

Octavia walked out right away, but the other girl hesitated for a moment before the one on the bed - Alicia - said something. Clarke noticed the interaction with a small smile on her face, the two seemed really close.

Clarke stepped near Alicia when the other girl walked away. She checked over the brunette for any bites - as cruel as it sounds, no use wasting supplies if she's going to die anyways. The knife was embedded a few inches below her navel and if she's lucky, it might've missed any organ - internal bleeding is tricky.

_"Hi, I'm Clarke. Thanks for helping Madi."_ she said.

Alicia tried for a smile, but it came out as a grimace - it hurt to breath. Clarke smiled sympathetically at her and opened the med kit.

_"If......i....don't.....make....it.....don't....let...her.....do....ot."_ Alicia said.

_"I won't."_ Clarke said.

Clarke pulled out a scissors and cut open the rest of Alicia's shirt, throwing it on the floor - it's non salvageable anyways. 

_"Can you stay quiet?"_ Clarke asked - too much noise could attract problems.

Alicia shook her head slightly. 

Clarke nodded and took a clean rag, stuffing it in Alicia's mouth as gently as she could. She didn't really like doing it this way, but there's really no other choice. 

_"This okay?"_ she asked.

Alicia nodded. Her body tensed in anticipation of the pain she knows will come when the knife is removed.

_"Clarke?"_

Clarke turned around to see John Murphy enter the tent.

_"What's up?"_ she asked as she prepared the things she would need - cleaing them before the procedure.

_"Madi told me what happened, need some help?"_ he asked.

_"Actually yeah, hold her down."_ she ordered.

He nodded and stood at the other side of the bed. He smiled gently at the brunette - Alicia, Madi had told him - before gently pinning her arms to her sides.

_"Hey, I'm John Murphy, but i prefer Murphy. You'll be fine, Clarke here might be a terrible person but she's good at this."_ he said.

Murphy and Clarke had their difference when they first met, even now they don't leave a chance to bother the other - but they also trust each other with their lives. He's usually the one to look after Madi, or help Clarke during an operation.

_"Gee, thanks."_ Clarke rolled her eyes, _"Okay, I'm going to start now."_

Alicia clenched her fists as she felt the knife being moved. She was glad the cloth muffled her screams - it would hurt Lexa if she heard them. Unconsciously she began pulling away, but Murphy kept a strong hold on her. 

_"So there's no internal bleeding, Alicia, consider yourself lucky because it's a bitch to deal with. I'll just stitch you up now."_ Clarke informed her.

_"She passed out."_ Murphy said.

_"Oh, that's fine. You can go now."_

Murphy took the cloth out of her mouth and tenderly wiped the sweat and blood of her face - with the clean side of course, he's not a savage - his eyes lingered on ger face for a moment.

_"Don't be a pervert."_ Clarke smirked.

_"I would never."_ he rolled his eyes, _"she's hot."_

_"I know."_

_"I mean, her temperature. She might be having a fever."_ he huffed, _"Who's the pervert now?"_

_"Shouldn't have said it like that, it's your fault."_ Clarke replied as she began stitching the wound - the bleeding had stopped enough for her to be able to do a good enough job.

Murphy rolled his eyes again and sighed before grabbing two other clean clothes. He doused them in some cold water and kept one on her warm forehead and another on the backside of her neck.

Clarke noticed his actions curiously. He's being too gentle and caring with her for someone he just met - and Murphy does not do gentle or caring with just anyone.

_"You know her, don't you?"_ she asked.

_"I'm leaving."_ he said, ignoring her question - but she already got her answer.

She let him leave, they live together there will be plenty of chances to interrogate him - for now she focused on her patient. She worked with practised ease on the stitches - the cut was about 3 inches long and not very deep, thankfully.

She admired her work for a moment before cleaning and bandaging it up. She checked her body once again for any other cut and bandaged the two small cuts on her arm too. Alicia looked awfully pale, if the amount of blood she saw all over the other brunette was any indication, Alicia would be needing blood transfusion.

Clarke stepped out to search for the other twin - the girl was sitting near the fire shivering slightly. The brunette searched Clarke's face and her body relaxed slightly when she found whatever she might've been looking for - Clarke had an idea what it might be been.

_"I've stitched the wound up but she lost too much blood. We'll have to do a blood transfusion."_ she said.

_"We're both O negative."_ the brunette replied and stood up.

_"Great, i don't think anyone here is an O, except Madi. Follow me."_

Clarke took the brunette in - she was preoccupied earlier to notice her properly. She was really pretty and her eyes - they were really pretty shade of green. The brunette looked worried when she saw her sister and it made Clarke wonder what it would feel like to have this pretty brunette worry about her.

_Woah where did that come from?_

_"Thank you."_ the brunette said as Clarke walked out after the successful transfusion.

_"I should be the one thanking you."_ Clarke smiled at her and rushed out to see Madi.

If she had been paying a bit attention to the brunette, she would've seen her wobble slightly, she would've noticed her paleness and her unfocused eyes - but Clarke just really wanted to see and coddle Madi to her heart's content.

* * *

Clarke and Madi had fallen asleep, with Madi snuggled impossibly close to Clarke - neither mother nor daughter wanted to let go of each other. It's been a long week for both of them, they've never been apart for more than a day since the dead rose.

Clarke wasn't sure if she wanted to cry or throw a rage fit when Madi told her everything that happened - one thing's for sure, Bellamy and Finn are dead when she get's her hands on them. 

Those two irresponsible idiots let a 12 year old child to search through a possibly swarmed mall by herself - if it wasn't for Madi's special condition, she would've died. When Azgeda attacked them, Madi was left by herself while all the other's ran away.

Madi had been escaped them by sheer luck and was making her way back to Arcadia, but three days later they caught her. She managed to escape two more times, but everytime they managed to catch her. Alicia and Lexa - Clarke finally knew the other twin's name - had saved her from those savages and in turn Alicia got stabbed later. Although Clarke did not like how Lexa made Madi search the dead bodies.

Clarke jolted awake for the second time that night when someone barged into her tent - again - thankfully Madi was too exhausted to wake up.

_"O? What's wrong?"_ she grumbled.

_"Let's talk outside."_

Clarke sighed and grabbed her jacket. She kissed Madi's forehead and tucked her safely under the covers before heading out.

She saw Octavia standing besides Lincoln who was holding a passed out Lexa who looked almost as pale as Alicia in his arms. She quickly ran over to them.

_"What happened?"_ she aksed.

_"She's anemic."_ Lincoln replied.

_"She didn't say anything! I would've taken a bit lesser amount."_ Clarke pinched the bridge of ner nose in annoyance.

_"Will she be okay? She's my cousin. And Alicia, is she fine? They'll live right?"_ he asked frantically.

_"They're both fine, just they'll need a lot of rest and some proper food, god knows they're too thin and with all the blood loss and all they'll need better nourishment."_ Clarke assured him.

He thanked her and carried Lexa to rest in one of the tent. She watched the two walk away with a smile. When they first met the Forrester siblings, the three were on their way to LA to look for their family. But they found out LA had been wiped out by the military and decided to just stay with Clarke and her friends.

_"She's dangerous."_ Octavia said, _"But I'm glad Lincoln found his family."_

_"Isn't everyone and everything dangerous anyways."_ Clarke shrugged.

_"I don't know how to explain it but, she's more so than everything else."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think about this one :)  
> you're comments are motivation enough to write more of it :)


	4. Fate Works In Mysterious Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a slightly longer chapter  
> hope you enjoy ~

Lexa woke up with a pounding headache - it's been a while since she's had one of those - and a heavy weight on her chest. Since she wasn't being munched on at this moment, it must not be a walker, so she relaxed slightly.

She tried to remember if the events of last night - Alicia being fine and finding Lincoln - actually happened or was it all just a dream. Would she open her eyes to be surrounded by a bunch of strangers telling her how sorry they were? She hoped not. Alicia is the only thing keeping her sane in this messed up world, she can't do this with her twin.

She didn't bother opening her eyes as she took stock of herself - all her limb and organ seem to be in place and except the heaviness of her muscles, there seems to be nothing wrong with her body. The fact that some of her knifes, the one's she kept hidden, were strapped onto her was reassuring - she has at least one of the several on her at all times. She didn't even have the time to get her swords or Alicia's barrel out of the car last night.

Her eyes snapped open when she heard a soft whine and looked down, the weight on her chest was the head of an adorable golden retriever staring intently at her - Lexa can't even remember the last time she saw one. It whined softly at her before licking her chin and she smiled.

 _"As much as I'm loving the attention, buddy, I need to look for Alicia."_ Lexa pushed the dog away as she sat up - at least the strangers had the decency of giving her a blanket.

She felt dizzy for a while as she stood up suddenly - thanks to the blood loss - and grabbed the inside of the tent to balance herself. She clenched her eyes shut, willing the wave of dizziness to pass sooner.

She looked around to see the rest of her knives laid neatly in their straps near her and sighed in relief - it would be hars finding replacements for these beauties. She had found them in an antique store in Mexico and instantly fallen in love with the pack of 12 throwing knives, though she had to sharpen them a bit. The antique store was the best shop she had ever been to in the post-apocalyptic world - the stuff she had gotten from there was just another level.

The dog sat patiently wagging it's tail as Lexa strapped the knives on herself and she couldn't help the soft smile on her face - at least dogs are still human's best friend, well some of them are - the dogs she had seen back in Mexico weren't that friendly. She was hunted by a bunch of them for a while and all they wanted was to tear her throat, fortunately - or unfortunately for them - the walkers got to the dogs and the dogs weren't wise enough to avoid them.

A cold wind blowing from the entrance of the tent makes Lexa realize how underdressed she was - she did give her flannel to Alicia, it's definitely ruined - she shivered. Not seeing any clothing nearby she grabbed the blanket and bundled herself up before stepping out.

The first thing she noticed was that sun was almost gone so it must be sometime in the late evening. She must've slept for at least 15 hours, no wonder she feels so rested despite the slight heaviness in her body. The second thing she noticed is how everyone sitting around the fire - 8 people in total - were now looking at her.

 _"Lexa!"_ is all the warning she got before a body is slammed into her.

Pushing down her immediate response to slam the body on the ground and stab it, she tightened her hold around the body - the blanket laid forgotten at her feet - she had all the warmth she could possibly need.

_"It was so hard to stop myself from shaking you awake when Linc told me."_

_"I missed you too, Aden."_ Lexa laughed.

Aden was Lexa's little protégé. He's 4 years younger than her and would follow her around all day like a puppy and do everything she did - he listened to her more than his own family and Lexa loved him for that, even if it made them jealous of her - he was the little brother she never asked for, but she loved anyways.

Lexa pulled back from the hug to look at him - at least the apocalypse did not dampen his bright smile - his sandy blonde hairs cropped shorter than she remembers, but then again it had been a little over two years. His eyes were tearful, but then again so were Lexa's - neither of them ever imagined being able to see each other.

 _"I'm glad you're alive commander."_ he smiled through the tears.

Lexa chuckled at the nickname.

She looked over his shoulder to see Anya standing a few feet away looking at the two with a teary smile - Lexa can count the number of times she's seen Anya cry on one hand and still have more than half fingers left.

 _"Anya..."_ she sobbed softly before wrapping her arms around the older girl.

Anya usually hates hugs, but seeing-your-cousin-after-two-years-of-thinking-she-was-dead warrants a hug, a long on at that. Even if they wanted to, they couldn't stop the tears falling down their faces. Anya had always wanted to have a little sister, and she got two - Lexa and Alicia. 

_"I see you didn't forget me yet."_ as a kid Anya told Lexa that you can forget a person if you don't see them for 2 months - later on it became an excuse to see each other atleast once a month when Anya had to leave for college.

 _"Forge_ _t you? Never." Anya grinned._

 _"Alicia?"_ Lexa asked.

 _"She's fine, a bit fever, looks like shit but she'll live."_ Anya replied.

Lexa lets out a wet laugh as she pulls away from the hug. The two usually-stoic cousins wiped their tear stained face before joining the general public - can't have this staining their unapproachable image; spoiler, they did not.

 _"I'm going to check up on Alicia first."_ Lexa said and Anya nodded, releasing her hold on her.

As much as Lexa wanted to talk with her cousins and ask them how did they reach here when they're supposed to be in Vancouver, how did they escape? What happened to their parents? But first, she needs to make sure Alicia is all right.

She walked into the tent to see Alicia sleeping soundly. Her face was flushed slightly and there's a wet cloth on her forehead, for the fever probably, Lexa though. Lexa pulled the cover aside to look at her wound - the bandage looked clean and blood-less so the wound must be healing nicely.

 _"Wake up soon, Lysh."_ she whispered before heading back out.

 _"You should've told me you're anemic, i would've taken less amount of blood."_ Clarke said as soon as Lexa was seated between Aden and Anya.

 _"Would it have slowed Alicia's healing?"_ Lexa said.

_"Yes, but-"_

_"There's no one more important to me than her. I've been through some shit in even worse conditions so I'll be fine."_ Lexa shrugged.

Clarke frowns at her, but didn't comment any further. It's almost astonishing how she doesn't care about her health at all - she doesn't look slightly bothered by the fact that she could've actually died from the blood loss - but Clarke wouldn't be any different in her position.

 _"We've spent most of our time inside the Ark, so you'll have to tell us some cool ass stories"_ Raven said excitedly.

 _"Sure, I've got a lot of those."_ Lexa shrugged.

 _"So you made it out of the dam alive, huh."_ Luna said as she stepped out of her tent and saw Lexa.

Lexa turned around in confusion because how did these people know about the dam incident - the one where she and Nick blew up the dam to escape the proctors - because Raven just said none of these people have been out of their settlement much.

 _"Luna?! Wait, is this the Raven you were looking for?"_ Lexa asked surprised.

When the outbreak happened Lexa was in San Diego for a boxing tournament - she's always loved martial arts and had recently decided to try professionally and had reached the finals in her first tournament - while Alicia and the rest of her family were in LA.

She had booked the first flight home due to the rumor of the border being closed, but she was a bit late and got stuck at the airport. When people started going crazy she had tried to leave the airport only to be locked in by the military because they didn't want the infection to spread.

She had found Luna surrounded by a bunch of crazy people and helped her, the two of them had then escapes onto the runway to be away from the crowd, but they weren't the only people who had that idea. When surrounded by the crazies, they were saved by an older woman - Becca - who had a private chopper. The three of them had narrowly escaped the crowd trying to reach the chopper.

Becca was a scientist and also an engineer - a certified genius - and was able to fly the chopper to get them away from San Diego. Barely 5 minutes later, the entire place was reduced to the ashes - they had gotten lucky.

Becca had a secluded safe house in Mexico and luckily had just enough fuel to reach there. Becca had offered to let them stay but both Lexa and Luna had to search for their people. Becca had wished them luck and told they could come back here whenever they wanted, with the people they hopefully found - she had also given both the girls a few weapons.

Even after hearing the news of LA being bombed, Lexa had known Alicia had made it out hopefully with the rest of them - she would've felt it if something happened to her. Lexa had no idea where to look for Alicia, so she decided to follow Luna while broadcasting on an enhanced radio, in hope Alicia would hear it. 

Alicia had heard Lexa's broadcast daily, but she wasn't able to reply because they were too far away - because of the dangers of it, Lexa didn't broadcast her location so she had no way of knowing where she was - but Alicia took solace in the fact, Lexa was okay and even had a companion.

She heard from Alicia a few months into the outbreak - Alicia was safe in a ranch with Nick and Madison, although they had lost Travis - she had given Lexa a bunch of coordinates and said to meet her there. 

Luna had accompanied Lexa to the coordinates, just to make sure at least one of them found their family as Luna sadly had no news from her girlfriend Raven. But, neither Alicia nor any other of her family arrived at the coordinates, combined with the total radio silence - Lexa was extremely worried, but at least she knew Alicia was alive.

The two girls camped at the location for almost a month with no news before they had to move on. Lexa was disheartened, but she still had hope - as long as she knew Alicia was alive she couldn't give up. 

They had ventured into a place full of various stalls and people. Although it was a bit sickening to see people chained outside the fence at mercy of the walkers - they just walked around aimlessly, checking the stalls, when Luna pulled Lexa's attention to a girl who looked just like her.

Lexa had burst into tears because it was Alicia. She wanted to run over and wrap her arms around her twin and just make sure it was real, but thankfully Luna stopped her. Alicia was being taken somewhere by the leader of the place and interrupting them did not seem like a good idea.

The two had decided to discreetly follow the gang. When they reached a dam, Luna made up a prefect opportunity for Lexa to finally talk to Alicia. It took them just half an hour to catch up on everything that happened in the last almost an year - they escaped LA on a boat with a rich guy Strand who brought them to a place in New Mexico which they had to leave and then the hotel near the beach and finally the ranch getting overridden by a horde - everything the two went through, there were a lot more than few tears involved.

Luna had left a while later after Lexa assured her she was fine and they could handle the proctors by themselves and Luna shouldn't have to stay in case it was dangerous. It took a lot of persuasion to make Luna leave, but Lexa was adamant at not putting Luna in any more danger.

Still, Luna had stayed far enough to not be noticed by anyone - Leca hadn't known either - in case she needed any assistance. She had used the sniper Becca had given her to take out some of the people at the bridge.

When Alicia told Lexa about the plan to blow up the dam so the proctor let's them go, Lexa quickly agreed to help. She didn't got any time to hug or even talk to Madison as things went south with the proctor.

Lexa and Nick stayed on the dam with the detonator while Madison and Alicia left with Strand - Alicia didn't want to but Lexa convinced her. 

_("Go, Lysh. I found you once, I'll find you again." Lexa said as she pushed Alicia towards Madison, "Mom, I'll see you soon. Don't worry, I'll take care of Nick."_

_"Take care of yourself too Lexa." Madison said tearfully as she pulled Alicia away._

_"You should go with them too." Nick said._

_"And leave your irresponsible ass alone? Nah." Lexa smirked._

_"It's just you and me, then, baby sis." Nick grinned.)_

It took Lexa a week to find Nick, alone and badly injured - if she had been anymore late, he would've died all alone. She nursed him back to health in two weeks - and the two siblings searched for the rest of their family for a month before finally being reunited - they lived peacefully in the stadium, until the vultures.

 _"Yeah."_ Luna smiled at the confusion on Raven and everyone else's face, _"I was a pretty good sniper, wasn't i."_

 _"You sure were."_ Lexa laughed.

_"I searched for you, for like a week. But then i heard Raven on a radio and had to leave."_

_"I'm glad you found her."_

_"Lexa is the girl i met in San Diego i told you guys about. Yes Rae, the one who saved my ass too many times to count."_ Luna said before Raven could even ask.

Raven smiled gratefully at Lexa before abruptly hugging her. Lexa's body tensed for a moment before she awkwardly patted Raven's back.

 _"Thanks for saving her."_ Raven said as she let Lexa go.

 _"She helped me a lot too."_ Lexa said.

 _"Okay, is anyone else finding this super weird?"_ Octavia said.

 _"Yeah. It's really weird."_ Lexa nodded.

 _"Well, fate works in mysterious ways."_ Murphy grinned.

Lexa looked at the boy for a moment - he looked familiar, even his name sounds familiar - she narrowed her eyes, trying to remember where she saw or heard about him - then it clicked.

 _"John Murphy? Wait. You're that online friend Alicia had when internet was still a thing."_ Lexa said.

 _"Oh. You knew."_ he said sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

 _"We're twins, we tell each other everything."_ Lexa shrugged.

 _"And it get's weirder."_ Octavia commented.

Everyone sitting around the fire burst into laughter at the weird consequences of how their lives have been entangled. Lexa let herself actually relax - she was safe here and so was Alicia.

 _"Dinner is served."_ Murphy said.

Lincoln and Murphy distributed bowls of some kind of soup to everyone sitting around the fire. Lexa took a tentative sip of it - she hadn't had anything really tasty in a while. 

Unknown to Lexa, Clarke else was intently observing Lexa, just to make sure she's fine and definitely because she thought Lexa was sexy&adorable. Clarke smiled as Lexa's face light up when she took a sip of the soup.

 _"Creepy much, Griff."_ Raven whispered in her ear.

 _"Shut up, Rae."_ she grumbled.

 _"Well, I approve. She seems good, even though she threatened to kill me twice, yesterday."_ Raven said.

 _"What?"_ Clarke didn't know about that.

 _"First time was an accident, but second time was my fault and damn i almost peed my pants. She's scary as fuck. I'm glad she's on our side."_ Raven shivered at the memory.

Clarke chuckled lightly. Raven always gets into trouble.

 _"I'm going to take some food to Madi."_ Clarke announced and got up.

Lexa excused herself and followed Clarke. She wanted to ask her about Madi and Alicia. 

_"Is she okay? When we found her it, ummmmm, it wasn't pretty and I'm not sure if they did something to her earlier or no."_ Lexa said to Clarke.

 _"She'll be fine. They didn't do anything much to her, at least not like that."_ Clarke smiled sadly.

 _"I wish I could say it'll be fine, but you never really get over something like that."_ Lexa said knowingly.

 _"It just pisses me off so much, she's just a little kid."_ Clarke sniffled.

Lexa's heart ached for the blonde, no mother should ever see their child go through something like that. Lexa stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Clarke.

_"If this is any consolation, you taught her well."_

She felt Clarke nod against her shoulder. They stayed in the embrace for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything - just soaking up each other's presence. It was weird for both how comfortable they felt with each other.

 _"How's Alicia really?"_ Lexa asked as she stepped back from the embrace.

 _"She'll need a lot of rest, so you might not want to travel for a while. And proper food too, you both need that."_ Clarke looked at her pointedly, _"Don't skip any meal."_

Lexa nodded, but they both knew Lexa would skip a meal to give it to Alicia. She shivered slightly, she really should get her clothes from the car before she freezes to death just wearing her bra.

 _"Here."_ Clarke said and removed her jacket, handing it to Lexa.

 _"You should keep it, I'll go get mine from the car."_ Lexa protested weakly.

 _"Trust me, you do not want to get a fever."_ Clarke narrowed her eyes.

 _"Thanks."_ Lexa said shyly as she pulled the jacket on - quickly zipping it up.

She sighed in relief as warmth and the smell of vanilla surrounded her.

 _"See, isn't that much better."_ Clarke teased.

 _"Don't get cocky."_ Lexa threw over her shoulders as she walked over to the rest.

 _"Me? Never."_ Clarke laughed as she stepped into Madi's tent.

 _"Madi, wake up._ " she softly shook Madi awake.

Madi sat up groggily and hugged Clarke tiggtly. She muttering under her breath about wanting to sleep more - but her grumbling stomach had other plans.

 _"How are Alicia and Lexa?"_ she asked.

 _"Good. You want to join the others or just eat here?"_ Clarke asked, gently combing Madi's hairs with her fingers.

 _"With the others."_

Clarke smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

The duo walked towards the group with matching smiles. Everyone greeted Madi cheerfully as if nothing had happened and she sat besides Lexa, who smiled at her. Clarke let the two of them sit together while she took her seat beside Raven.

 _"Looks like Madi has a new favorite person."_ Raven grinned.

 _"Yeah."_ Clarke sighed happily - seeing Madi happy always cheered her up.

 _"O, you might lose your 'cool aunty' title to Lexa."_ Raven cackled.

 _"I'm sure Lexa will fit better in another title."_ Octavia and Raven exchanged conspiratorial smirks.

 _"Oh no. I know that smirk, it's the we're-gonna-fuck-shit-up smirk."_ Clarke groaned, _"Luna please stop your girlfriend."_

 _"What shit are we fucking up?"_ Luna said excitedly.

 _"Oh no. Not you too."_ Clarke shook her head, trying to hide her amusement.

 _"Are we picking on Blondie? Count me in."_ Anya added offhandedly, while chattinf with Lexa.

Clarke turned to look at the only person she knew could probably help her get out of whatever trouble these people are going to stir up - Lincoln. Much to her dismay, Lincoln just raised his hands in surrender.

 _"I'm not picking sides."_ he said.

 _"They all like to pick on my mom."_ Madi whispered in Lexa's ear, _"Aunty Rae says it's a stress relief for them. Whatever that means."_

Lexa laughed softly at Clarke's expressions - she looked worried and amused as the others exchanged mischievous looks.

 _"Want me to help her out?"_ Lexa whispered to Madi, who nodded eagerly.

 _"Hey, Klarke."_ Lexa called out and everyone turned to look at her, _"Would you mind helping me carry some stuff from the car. I would do it myself but I only have two hands."_

 _"I would love to."_ Clarke smiled gratefully as she quickly escaped the others before they could gang up on her any further.

 _"Thanks. You're a life saver."_ Clarke said as she walked besides Lexa.

 _"Well you did save me from freezing to death."_ Lexa shrugged.

_"So do you really need my help?"_

_"Why, do you have anywhere better to be?"_

_"Not really."_

_"I actually do, there's two bags and a bunch of weapons. I would rather not try carrying them all myself."_ she said, _"my body's a bit tired."_

 _"_ _Oh, yeah, must be because of the blood loss. You should be resting."_ Clarke scolded her lightly.

 _"Well, I fought through a horde in much worse conditions."_ Lexa shrugged.

 _"Wow, now I really wanna hear all your adventures."_ Clarke mumbled.

_"Well, me and Alicia are twins, as you can see. We once met a bunch of superstitious people a while ago and they had this ridiculous belief that sacrificing twins to the dead would please the god and shit. They threw us in a ditch full of the dead."_

_"Oh My God."_ Clarke gaped.

 _"It gets worse."_ Lexa chuckled bitterly, _"When I said threw, I literally meant threw. I hit my head and dislocated my shoulder, Alicia got lucky and didn't get much hurt because she fell on me. Thankfully Alicia had hidden her butterfly knife and I had a few hidden knives on me. We fought through the dead and ended up covered in their blood. They ignored us after that."_

_"How many knives do you have on you?"_

_"That's a secret."_ Lexa winked.

 _"I don't know what to say, but if I ever see those assholes I'll give them hell."_ Clarke seethed.

_The nerve of some people._

_"You won't need to. They're dead."_ Lexa assured her, _"No one harms my people and makes it out alive."_

 _"Did you?"_ Clarke said, not sure how to ask the question.

 _"Yeah. We killed them."_ she almost whispered, _"Don't worry, we won't stay with you, if you feel unsafe."_ she added as an after thought.

 _"No, Lexa, it's not that. I feel safer, in fact. I'm not saying killing people is right, even if they are assholes but, I know you're a good person. I would never tell you to leave. You can stay with us as long as you want."_ she assured her.

 _"Okay."_ Lexa said.

She didn't regret all the people she killed - the cultists, the vultures - she would do it again if she had to. But she was afraid of Clarke's reaction to it, she didn't want the blond to be disgusted or hate her.

 _"Thank you."_ Lexa said as they reached the car.

 _"What for?"_ Clarke frowned in confusion.

 _"For not hating me? I don't know. I thought you would've kicked us out after knowing we kill p_ _eople because i would do it again if i have to."_ Lexa said weakly.

 _"It's fine, Lexa. I get it, I mean you're ways are kinda harsh, but I would do anything to keep my family safe too."_ Clarke assured her.

_"That's just how we survive."_

Clarke stopped and turned around so she was facing Lexa. She stared into those deep green orbs - seriously what shade is that - swirling with emotions she couldn't name.

 _"Maybe life should be more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?"_ she said softly.

 _"Maybe we do."_ Lexa breathed.

She gazed down at Clarke's lips and Clarke did the same. Clarke leaned in slowly - giving Lexa enough time to back off, thankfully she didn't - and captured Lexa's lips with her own. 

Lexa let out an involuntary whimper and moved her hand to caress the back of Clarke's neck and pulled her closer as Clarke grabbed Lexa's elbow to steady them both. They parted for a second as Clarke tilted her head to deepen the kiss.

They were interrupted by the groan of a dead nearby. Clarke parted from Lexa reluctantly and Lexa walked towards the walker, swiftly stabbing it in the hand with a knife, which Clarke had no idea where she pulled from - but to be fair she was distracted.

 _"I only need some clothes and my swords."_ Lexa said as she came back.

 _"Okay."_ Clarke bit her lips, should she say anything or were they going to pretend that never happened.

Lexa looked at the dejected expression on Clarke's face and racked her brain for something to say - something to let her know, it doesn't have to be a one time thing or they don't have to pretend it didn't happen and she didn't regret it even though they've known each other for barely any time.

 _"I've kissed only like two people before you."_ she said.

 _"Yeah, i can't see you being much social in the old world."_ Clarke said, _"But you're not that much of a bad kisser."_

 _"I feel like i could do better."_ Lexa hummed.

 _"Well you know what they say, practice makes perfect."_ Clarke inwardly cringed.

_What the fuck Griffin? Who even says that?_

_"Are you volunteering?"_ Lexa raised an eyebrow.

 _"Are you interested?"_ Clarke challenged.

_"I might just take you up on that, Klarke."_

Lexa shook her head and chuckled as she grabbed her swords and the barrel and hooked it on her tool belt. She opened her bag and pulled out a full sleeve black shirt, the jacket was warm but she was still a bit cold.

 _"Damn, this axe is heavy."_ Clarke grumbled.

 _"I'll take it, Lincoln's gonna love it."_ Lexa said as she removed the jacket and put on her shirt.

 _"Oh thank god."_ Clarke groaned, _"But, yeah Lincoln will love it."_

Lexa laughed at the blonde's antics and grabbed the two bags, passing one over to Clarke. They were about to walk back when Lexa suddenly stopped.

_"What's wrong?"_

_"Please tell me I'm hallucinating because of blood loss."_ Lexa said.

Clarke frowned as she looked over to where Lexa was staring and gasped. A horde was slowly walking towards them, thanks to the straight road they could see the horde from a mile away, but who knew about the one's hidden in the woods.

_"Fuck."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know waht you think about it :)  
> feedback is always appreciated...


	5. Even when you're hopeless, hope is all you have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while  
> anyways,  
> hope you enjoy ~

Alicia cursed everything she could think about, which wasn't much because all she could really think about was pain. Her entire body was sore and her stomach area stung like hell everytime she breathed, so she tried to breathe slower which just ended up with not enough oxygen in her lungs.

Last night - she's not exactly sure if it was last night - was the worst night of her life. She's been injured earlier, but that was the first time it was life threatening - not to mention, it hurt like a bitch. But, she had to choose between getting bit by a walker or stabbed by a human and she chose the latter, at least she would have a fighting chance.

Lexa would be so mad at her for almost dying. They had never been apart for too long - the longest they were supposed to be apart were the 3 days Lexa would be in San Diego for her tournament, but the apocalypse happened and she didn't get to see Lexa for almost an year.

The year apart in the beginning just brought them closer than ever - being surrounded by death changes you. In Alicia's case, she got over her kinda-rebellious phase and realized the importance of her - albeit annoying - family, only to lose half of them.

She could vividly remember the day she first heard Lexa on the Abigail.

_(Alicia sat alone on the deck fiddling with the dials of the radio. The sun was at it's peak and her hair stuck uncomfortably at the back of her neck, but the cool air from the sea made it a bit better. Alicia stopped when she heard someone sigh through the radio._

_"Alicia, if you can hear this, It's Lexa....... I'm safe and well alive, but you already knew that......... I hope you are too, i mean i know you're alive, i just hope you're safe and mom, Nick and Travis too." there was a muffled shout from Lexa's side before it went silent, Alicia sat with a death grip on the radio's handle - what if something happened to her? Is she safe?_

_"I'm fine, I'm fine, just came across one of those, well, things...... I don't know of you know this but, those things die if you destroy their brains, so just stay safe........ This is an enhanced radio so you might not be in range to reply yet and i can't tell you where i am because i don't really know........ The sign we came across was covered in blood, which, totally gross by the way."_

_"We're on a freeway to New Mexico." someone else's voice said._

_"I'll broadcast daily when the sun is at it's peak, because i don't have a watch so who knows what time it is." Lexa laughed, "May we meet again.")_

Alicia groaned in frustration as she coughed - she was hot and cold at the same time and not to mention sweaty - she had a god-level headache and her throat was raw and closed up, but the worst of the situation was definitely the coughing because it made her stomach hurt even more.

 _"Fuck."_ she hissed after a coughing fit.

Tears sprung into her eyes because of the pain and irritation, she always hated being sick, add to that all the other problems - namely the pain in her stomach, where she realized she was stabbed. Plus Lexa was no where near her and she had no idea where she was.

Alicia needed Lexa.

 _"You look like shit, babygirl."_ a smooth voice drawled out.

Alicia frowned upon hearing that voice, only one person ever called her babygirl and it used to annoy her a lot, because it's utterly ridiculous, but what she wouldn't give to hear it again. But, that can't be right, how would that person be here? She's supposed to be somewhere in Canada - which is pretty far from here.

_God i hope it's really her._

Alicia turned towards the voice and her throat closed up for an entirely different reason, because standing in front of her was none other than Anya Woods. A fresh wave of tears spilled down her cheek as she tried to say something.

 _"Ahn? Is it.....is it really you?"_ she croaked.

 _"Who else would it be."_ Anya smiled.

Anya walked over to make shift bed and used the rag on her forehead to wipe the sweat and tears off her face and neck . She grabbed a bottle of water and helped Alicia drink some of it, using the rest to wet the rag again and place it on her forehead. Anya remembered how Alicia turned into a whiny crying mess whenever she got sick - which was pretty rare because that girl has a monster immune system. 

_"I never really thought i would see you again._ " Alicia sniffled.

_"I never thought your whiny ass either, babygirl."_

_"Am not."_

_"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that."_

_"Lexa?"_

_"Went out to grab some of your stuff. She'll be back soon."_

_"Okay."_

_"How do you feel?"_ Anya asked as she delicately combed through Alicia's hair.

 _"Hurts."_ she cried.

 _"Shh, i know, babygirl. Do you want some painkillers?"_ Anya cooed.

Alicia shook her head. She hated how painkillers made her head feel fuzzy and weird and she didn't want to use them in case she accidentally became addicted. Logically she knew with proper amount and care she won't get addicted, but it still scares her.

The two were interrupted by the increased noise of chatter and rustling from outside. Anya frowned at the commotion, she had left things in a pretty calm state to check up on Alicia.

Lexa burst into the tent.

 _"A horde is coming our way. We need to leave."_ she said.

 _"I just need to grab my bag."_ Anya nodded, _"I'll carry Lysh to my car, the back seat is pretty spacious."_

Lexa helped Alicia sit up as she pulled out the box of antibiotics and water from her bag and handed it to Alicia, who wordlessly took a pill. Lexa helped Alicia into a shirt and sweater while Alicia whined and complained to her about her headache, throatache and stomach ache while marveling the incredible job whoever stitched her up did - Lexa wasn't really good at stitching up, so it obviously wasn't her - Lexa bit the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from laughing while cooing and agreeing with Alicia.

Anya watched them with a soft smile on her face, she had always admired their dynamic and loved how the two just knew what the other wanted without needing any words - she missed Alicia whining about everything and Lexa muffling her laughter while supporting her twin's ridiculous claims - at least the apocalypse didn't change that.

She missed them.

_"I can walk to the car......"_

Lexa and Anya looked at her with matching 'really?' looks - it was quite intimidating.

 _"......but it would really hurt."_ she finished lamely.

 _"I'm carrying you."_ Anya declared.

 _"Fine."_ Alicia huffed, it's not like she had a chance against Lexa and Anya together. They're hella protective of the younger ones - Aden, Lincoln and Alicia - even though Alicia is just 2 minutes younger than Lexa.

Lexa watched Anya carry a grumbling Alicia when the first sign of the horde nearing their camp reached her. She sighed and pulled out her swords, walking towards the edge of the clearing. 

_"Hurry up guys!"_ she shouted.

She effortlessly took down the first few walkers but there were too many and she was still reeling from blood loss, her limbs felt heavy and the headache was back with a vengeance - maybe it never really went and she just forgot about it.

 _"Lexa, let's go."_ Clarke said.

Everyone else had hurriedly packed up their tents and stuff when Clarke and Lexa had informed them about the incoming horde. Now, everyone was on the way to the cars leaving Lexa and Clarke alone in the clearing - the dead didn't really count.

Lexa nodded and let Clarke grab her hand and pull her towards the rest. Despite the situation she smiled at the way her callused hands fit perfectly with Clarke's smooth ones - she was a bit envious of Clarke's smooth hands.

They burst out of the woods onto the road to see three waiting cars, ready to rush off in the direction opposite to the horde. Lexa looked at the cars and at the horde; the horde would catch up to them sooner or later.

 _"Lexa?"_ Clarke asked, puzzled as Lexa pulled away from her.

 _"Go, I'll hold them off."_ she said.

 _"No, Lexa."_ Clarke grabbed her hand again.

 _"They'll catch up to us, sooner or later."_ Lexa said, _"Me and Lysh camped near a river few miles south that goes in the opposite direction of us, I'll take them there."_

 _"I'm coming with you."_ Clarke insisted.

_"No, my sister needs you Clarke, you're the only doctor among us and knowing Alicia, I'm pretty sure she's going to rip her stitches because she can't stay still."_

_"Rude."_ Alicia commented, even though it was kind of true, she hated staying still, it made her think about all the things she did not want to think about.

 _"I'll go."_ Aden volunteered.

 _"No."_ Anya, Lexa and Alicia said in unison.

Aden deflated on his seat, there's no way he can ever win an argument against the trio, he learnt that the hard way - they love you, but won't hesitate to beat some sense into you, literally.

 _"I'll go with you."_ Luna smirked, _"It'll be just like the old times, except I'm hotter."_

 _"I used to think all that shit about couples behaving like each other after they've been together a while was shit, before these two."_ Octavia rolled her eyes.

 _"I love how you think babe."_ Raven wiped imaginary tears, _"But be careful. I'll be waiting."_ Raven kissed her deeply - even though she would prefer if Luna didn't go, but Luna was strong and someone had to, it would be cruel to send Lexa alone.

 _"I'm so used to their ridiculous pda it doesn't even gross me anymore."_ Madi sighed as Octavia sympathetically patted her head.

 _"I still think it's dangerous, but okay."_ Clarke sighed, _"Be careful you two, we'll meet you back at the Ark."_

Lexa looked over at the horde, they're barely 100 meters away now. She pulled the gun barrel from her belt and placed it near Alicia before she could voice her thoughts - she probably won't be able to use it, that thing's heavy, but better safe than sorry.

 _"Take care of each other. Lex, I just got you back, I'm not losing you again."_ Anya said in her familiar soft but stern voice that Lexa had missed dearly.

 _"Love you Lex, come back to me._ " Alicia murmured and pulled her into a hug.

 _"Don't I always."_ Lexa smiled. 

Lexa and Luna stood side-by-side as the others quickly filled in the cars. Clarke lingered back for a moment before she quickly grabbed Lexa by her shirt and pulled her in for a kiss before entering the car.

Lexa stood in a daze - aftereffects of the kiss - for a while after the cars drove away. Luna's snickering brought her back to the land of the living - well not really living anymore.

 _"When did that happen?"_ Luna asked.

 _"When we went to the car earlier."_ she smiled.

_"So where's the river?"_

_"Few miles south. We'll have to go through the horde or around them."_

_"Let's just go through them, i don't wanna go through the woods."_ Luna shrugged.

 _"Atleast this time we don't have to cover ourselves in blood and guts."_ Lexa shuddered at the memory.

 _"Yeah, that was disgusting, this time we can just cut through them."_ Luna smirked, lazily twirling her daggers.

_"Let's go."_

The two nodded at each other as they were swallowed by the horde. Lexa shut off any thoughts as she went through the motions of swing, stab, pull, repeat and Luna did the same. The two danced among the dead, moving gracefully as they took down as many of the dead as they could, while watching each other's back. 

The first time they fought a horde together was in Mexico, but back then they were still new to the world and even though Lexa was skilled in combat, neither had much experienced in stabbing skulls of what used to be people. They were afraid; all they knew was they had to get back to their family and that's what kept them going.

But it was different now, they're older and stronger and more experienced. They've been living in this messed up world for so long that it doesn't scare them as much as it did before. 

_"Finally."_ Luna groaned as the two broke through the crowd.

 _"We're not done yet."_ Lexa panted, the blood loss was not making it easier.

 _"Oi! Deadwits!"_ Luna shouted loudly, effectively attracting every nearby undead, _"You guys are too slow, speed up a bit!"_

 _"Don't jinx it!"_ Lexa scolded.

_"It's not like they're going to start running or anything."_

Lexa shook her head and kept walking with Luna periodically shouting at the horde to make sure they were following them. The two caught up with what they've been through since they parted.

After Luna found Raven, Clarke, Octavia and Madi they had quickly found the others. The small group had then stumbled upon the Ark settlement - it used to be a satellite station, so it was pretty secluded and secure - while on a supply run and decided to stay there because it was relatively safer.

Personally, Luna didn't really like the place - there were too many people and the so-called leaders were full of shit. She wanted to settle somewhere by the sea or always be on the move - the dead won't catch up that way. But, Raven had insisted on staying for a while and a while had extended to an year.

The sun had begun to rise and the sky was turning a lovely reddish-orange color on one side and a deep blue on the other - atleast the natural view in an apocalypse was heavenly.

Lexa's thoughts drited to a certain blue-eyed blonde, even though they met recently and hadn't talked much, being around the blonde gave her a certain sense of peace - she hoped it was the same for Clarke. She was even been understanding of why Lexa had to kill, unlike other's who either got scared of her or worse.

Lexa thought about their kiss - god her lips were softer than they looked - she wondered if they would've gotten further if it wasn't for the damned walker - it's been a really long time since she got laid and being around Clarke doesn't help. She doesn't mean to seem like a creep, but Clarke's really fucking hot, especially her b-

_Don't be a creep Lexa!_

She shook her head to get rid of the extremely inappropriate thoughts - when you're being followed by a horde, it's not the right time to be horny.

The group had parted around 5am, according to the glimpse Lexa had gotten from Clarke's watch. Since it's winters and the sun rises late, it must be around 8 - they've been walking for quite some time now, the river must be nearby.

 _"You good?"_ Luna asked after a while.

 _"We've been walking for 3 hours."_ she deflected, because she was in fact not feeling good.

 _"How far is the river? Do you think you can make it? You really haven't changed, you should've stayed back, you look like you'll pass out anytime now."_ she scolded.

 _"I think we're nearby and I'll just rest after we deal with the horde. I'm the only one except Alicia who knows the way."_ she rolled her eyes.

 _"Whatever, commander."_ she scoffed.

 _"We're here."_ Lexa said, pointing at a fallen tree on the left side of the road, _"We go down that way."_

_"Is the river along the road?"_

_"It's coming from east and turns at this point going along the road down south."_

Luna nodded and called out the walkers again to make sure they were following the duo into the forest. The horde had gotten pretty huge, earlier it was maybe around 100 walkers but now it looks more - or maybe the one's hiding in the woods joined the main group.

Not that it matters - they're all going down the river.

In her peripheral vision, Luna saw Lexa tense up suddenly and she instinctively looked around for anything that might've made the younger girl react that way, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

 _"What's wrong?"_ she asked.

 _"Alicia's in trouble."_ Lexa said, _"And if she's in trouble, so are the other's, unless they did something to her."_ Lexa's eyes flashed dangerously.

Luna knew better than to doubt Lexa - if she felt like Alicia is in danger and by extension the other's, then she must be - the wierd twintution thingy Lexa and Alicia have is pretty accurate. 

She had seen it a few times back in Mexico - Lexa would go crazy with worry whenever she felt _it_ \- Luna had thought Lexa was losing her mind; but when she talked to Alicia later at the dam, Luna realized Alicia was indeed in danger whenever Lexa felt _it_ \- it was really wierd.

 _"Woah, calm down. They wouldn't, okay. Plus you said the Woods are your cousins, right? They wouldn't let anything happen to your sister. The rest of them aren't like that either."_ she said aloud.

 _"Sorry, i know, i trust my cousins, especially Anya, she's always been protective of me and Lysh, all this shit probably made her more so."_ Lexa said with a rare soft smile, _"I'm just worried, Alicia is already injured. I can't do this without her you know. If something happened to her, i would die."_

 _"I get what you mean. We all need reasons to live in this hell. Raven's it for me, like Alicia is for you.... ehh minus the screwing part."_ Luna laughed

_"Gross."_

_"Anyways, let's hurry up and get rid of these fuckers."_

Lexa sighed in relief when they finally came across the river. She's exhausted, her muscles are screaming in protest at every movement and her head is throbbing - all she wants to do is rest, but there's no time for that.

 _"The current is kinda fast, grab my hand."_ Luna said.

Lexa nodded and grabbed her hand as the two half-walked, half-swam to the other shore. Predictably, the walkers follwed behind them, getting swept away by the current.

Luna kept shouting profanities to encourage the walkers - after the majority or the horde had been swept away, leaving just a few stragglers the duo crossed back and took care of them easily.

 _"You stay here rest and dry yourself, I'll go further ahead and look for a ride."_ Luna said.

_"I'll-"_

_"You're in no state to walk all the way back, plus if the other's are in trouble, you need to be well rested to deal with all that shit."_ Luna cut her off.

 _"Fine. If you follow the main road, there's a dirt road heading to the right. Follow it down to a cabin, there's a truck there."_ Lexa said.

 _"That's were Alicia got stabbed, we took one of the truck from those guys, the second on will be there."_ she explained at the questioning look on Luna's face.

 _"Ah. I'll be back soon."_ Luna saluted her and walked off, breaking into a light jog - the sooner she get's the car, the better.

Lexa sighed and stripped out of her wet clothes - at least her bag was water proof - small mercies of the universe. She shivered as the cold breeze brushed her naked body and hurriedly took out dry clothes from her bag - getting hypothermia because she felt lazy did not sound good.

She wringed her clothes and hanged them to dry on a low branch. Thankfully Clarke's jacket was one of those super expensive water proof one's - the kind you would wear in a survival show, which was their life now - she should probably return it when they meet.

Lexa ate a light breakfast of two protein bars and closed her eyes, curling up on a bunch of dry leaves and drapped the jacket over herself in semblance of a blanket - falling asleep was probably a bad idea right now, as it would leave her defenseless, but she's too exhausted to think - plus, she would wake up if she sensed any danger.

What felt like a few minutes - but was actually an hour - later, Lexa woke up to the distant rumble of an engine, which was probably Luna. She stood up and streched, groaning in relief as bones popped. She zipped up the jacket and grabbed her bag, walking to the main road. Inspite of the short duration, she felt rested enough - she could sleep some more in the car.

 _"Hey, i was coming to get you."_ Luna said as she met Lexa halfway.

_"Any trouble?"_

_"Except having to search rotten corpses for keys? No."_ Luna's face scrunched in disgust.

Lexa laughed.

_"Let's go. I have a bad feeling, we're not going to like what we find."_

_"Let's hope for the best, yeah?"_ Luna sighed.

 _"Even when you're hopeless, hope is all you have."_ Lexa repeated the words, Alicia had once told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave some comments to let me know what y'all think about it :)


	6. Bleeding To Death In A Cold Room With A Corpse For Company, How Poetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Alicia didn't lose everyone in the show and had someone to look after her pre-apocalypse, she would be really snarky - that's what i believe
> 
> enjoy ~

_"So, when did that happen?"_ Raven asked after a few seconds of slient driving.

_"When we went to get her stuff."_ Clarke replied, blushing slightly.

She was worried about Lexa - actually that was an understatement - the brunette was suffering from blood loss and no matter how stubborn she is, she should've rested and let someone else lure the horde away. But Clarke can't really say anything to that because she would've done the same - she would never put her people in danger, no matter what - but just because she understands doesn't mean she has to like it.

She doesn't even know Lexa well enough to be so concerned, but she can't help it. There's just something about the younger brunette that makes her want to keep her close and the thing is, the world is fucked up and who knows how long they have, so she just wants to make the most of her life and if that involves being with Lexa, so be it.

_"So you and my sister, huh?"_ Alicia's voice crackled through the walky installed in the car.

Alicia had only brief introductions with the rest of the group and Aden filled her in on the rest - Raven was kind of a snarky smartass, Octavia was really nice, Murphy was sort of an asshole, but still a good guy according to Aden, the name sounded familiar but Alicia couldn't quite remember right now and she had briefly met Luna.

They seemed like nice people - they must be if the Woods are with them, so maybe she and Lexa could stay with them - but she knew better, they would only bring trouble to the group. There's a reason why she and Lexa were going far north.

The group had split up in the three cars - Raven & Clarke & Murphy in the front, Lincoln & Octavia & Madi in the middle, Anya & Aden & Alicia bringing up the rear. Raven had tweaked their walkies to private frequencies so no one else could eavesdrop on their conversation, the only drawback was the short range of it, but that's fine the cars aren't too far apart.

_"I'm not going to kill her if that's what you're concerned about."_ Clarke said.

_"That's the last thing i would be concerned about. Just don't kiss the wrong twin, because i will not object."_ Alicia joked.

_"Oh wow, she's good."_ Raven gasped.

Clarke gave Raven a side-eye to which she just laughed - it wasn't daily in the apocalypse you found someone with the same messed up hunor as you and she had a feeling Alicia could keep up with her.

_"Oh yeah, i remember that."_ Lincoln said.

_"All I remember from that incident was Alicia coming to be bawling her eyes out, crying about how Lexa is going to hate her."_ Anya laughed.

Alicia cringed at the unpleasant memory. Lexa's ex Costia had kissed her, probably thinking it was Lexa - which was pretty weird because she and Lexa had totally different style, so how could she not tell - and Alicia was so terrified of Lexa hating her, she avoided Lexa for half a day - which was pretty unusual for them - until the latter confronted her about the avoidance.

Thankfully Lexa did not hate Alicia for that and later they had a talk with Costia too and it turns out she had mistaken Alicia for Lexa - which Alicia didn't really buy, but she let it slide for Lexa's sake - but when it happened again, Alicia took to avoiding that girl at all costs.

Later, they found out the only reason Costia was even dating Lexa was because someone dared her to make both the twins fall for her. Alicia was livid, Lincoln, Nick and Matt had to physically hold her back but she still ended up breaking Costia's jaw - with of course some help from Anya. But Lexa was shattered because she actually loved Costia, but it was all a lie. From then on, Lexa closed off herself from everyone except Alicia and Anya.

_"No worries about that, you and Lexa and clearly different. Her hair is darker and her eyes are also greener and the whole air around her is kind of different too."_ Clarke said, _"She's kind of more grown up?"_

_"I get what you mean, Lexa looks like she could kill in her sleep and no offense, but Alicia you look like you would apologize to the wall you accidentally hit."_ Raven said.

_"If only they knew."_ Anya snickered.

_"I mean i get my first impression wasn't badass like Lexa's, but give me some credit here, I'm injured."_ Alicia scoffed, _"Plus, you don't know what I'm like when I'm not bleeding to death."_

Whatever was going to be said next was interrupted by a loud bang as a bullet rippled through the air cutting through the front glass of Raven's car, grazing her left shoulder. Half surprised, half shocked Raven slamed the breaks.

Lincoln, not expecting the sudden stop, crashed into the back of the car as Madi and Octavia screamed. But Anya had heard the bang of a bullet and the screeching of tires, so she was kind of prepared and slamed the breaks before she could hit Lincoln's car.

Alicia cried out in pain as she was lurched forward, pulling at her stitches - they're definitely ripped, Lexa was right afterall, but it wasn't Alicia's fault. Her vision blurred with tears and black spots danced in the corner of her eyes - she tried to stay awake, she really did - Anya was shouting at someone and Aden was saying something to her, from their tones it was clear something was really wrong.

But the pain and the dizziness were too overwhelming and the last thing she saw before the darkness swallowed her was a hand - too large and rough to be Anya's or Aden's or anyone in the group's really - grabbing her. 

* * *

Alicia jolted into consciousness again due to a searing pain near her ribs. She was about to protest and maybe strangle whoever jabbed her when the sound of teeth clacking and groaning reaches her and it's close - way too close.

It was pretty dark and she couldn't really see much - her hands are tied behind her way too tightly for it to be comfortable and the dull throbbing near her stomach reminded her not to move to much, but the sound was unmistakably a walker - to her right.

It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust and when they did, she let out a short scream and scooted to her left because a walker's mouth was alarmingly close to her foot and she ended up crashing into something - moving so abruptly wasn't the brightest idea because the dull throbbing escalated to a sharp pang and she bit into a piece fabric near her mouth to keep from screaming.

_"Alicia? It didn't get you did it? Are you okay? Please be okay."_ someone - the 'something' she crashed into - said.

Alicia released the fabric in her mouth - realizing it was leather which was kind of comforting, it's been a while since she's felt leather - and opened her mouth to say something, but the walker was still too close to her comfort, so she drapped her legs half over her companions lap.

Alicia looked over the cold, dark room - it looked pretty barren and had no window or even a small hole in the wall to let in some light or air, but she could make out a small vent on the wall besides the one she was leaning against - at least she wasn't going to die of suffocation - because that would honestly be so lame, after surving through unimaginable shit, dying just because some douche didn't know how to properly ventilate a room. She could also make out the faint outline of a door.

_"Raven?"_ Alicia asked softly, her throat still ached a bit.

_"The one and only."_

_"It didn't get me."_ she sighed, at least someone she knows is nearby. 

_"Oh thank god."_

_"Where are we? What happened? And where are the others?"_ Alicia asked.

_"We're in Azgeda territory, they're a bunch of savages. They abducted us for some god forsaken reason, which can't mean anything good and we should get out of here asap. They had tranqs, the one's with the feathers at the end and shit."_ Raven laughed, _"I don't know where the other's are, we're the only ones here, expect well that guy there."_

_"But on the bright side, it's tied to the wall, just like us so it can't get us."_ The walker pulled and stuggled with the rope holding it back - it didn't seem like it would be held back for long, _"Probably."_

Alicia rested her head on Raven's shoulder and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself after that scare, who knows what would've happened if not for Raven. Azgeda must be the ones she and Lexa saved Madi from, so whatever they want can't be good - not for the group anyways.

_"How long have i been out?"_ she asked.

_"I don't know, i just woke up few minutes before and had to wake you because it was too close to your feet."_ Raven replied leaning her head over Alicia's.

_"Thanks for that. I got stabbed trying not to get bit, so getting bit while out cold would lose me a lot of badass points."_ she joked.

_"Girl, your life so....."_ Raven trailed off, just what has this girl gone through.

_"This, is just the tip of the ice berg."_ Alicia chuckled, _"Wait till i tell you about the time our last group crashed a plane over the mountains to rescue a guy near a fallen radiation plant only to find out that the guy only wanted us away from the factory we were in to search for something that wasn't even in the factory."_ she scoffed, _"But we did end up saving a bunch of kids, so that's good."_

_"We're gonna unpack that later and you're telling me everything. And i mean everything."_ Raven said, _"Let's just get out of here first. I have a bad feeling about this."_

_"You have a bad feeling about being trapped in a cold gloomy room with a corpse? Shocking."_ Alicia said as she tried pulling at the rope around, but to no avail.

_"Any ideas, smartass?"_ Raven huffed.

_"Maybe."_ Alicia said as she pulled at the rope some more to see how far she could move - thankfully she could move a bit more to her left, her half baked idea might work after all.

_"Really? Because like we don't have a knife so it'll be hard to cut these ropes and they're too tight to wiggle through."_

_"Who said we don't."_ Alicia smirked.

_"I don't know why i even thought you wouldn't have a knife somewhere hidden on you."_ the guy's who abducted them had probably searched them because Raven couldn't feel her gun and pocketknife on her, _"Although y_ _ou better hurry because that walker over there looks like it's going to break free anytime now."_ Raven said peering at it over Alicia's head.

_"Yeah, they really don't feel any pain, it's so wierd. Once a walker was mangled in a fence and it kept trying to come at me and ended up splitting itself in half. It still kept coming at me though."_ Alicia grimaced at the memory, _"It was fucked up."_

_"The world is fucked up."_

_"Anyways, i have a switchblade in my left shoe but i obviously can't reach it. But if I straddle you, you'll probably be able to reach it."_

_"Straddle me?"_ Raven smirked.

_"Yep, don't go all wet on me though."_ Alicia smirked, _"Not that I'm opposed to it, but there's a place for everything and this cold dungeon is not it. Plus, I'm not into exhibitionism."_

_"Me neither."_ Raven snickered, Alicia might just be her new favorite person.

_"I just need a minute, because it's gonna hurt."_

_"Girl-"_

_"I know how it sounds, you perv."_ Alicia head butted her shoulder, Raven's laughter ringing in her ears.

_"Your stitches are ripped aren't they?"_ she asked softly, the playful tone fading into concern.

_"I think so."_ Alicia grimaced, thinking about the pain of having it stitched again, _"Okay, you ready?"_

_"For a hot girl to straddle me? Uh yeah"_ she grinned, _"But how's is your foot going to reach my hands though, they're tied behind me?_ " Raven frowned.

_"I'll handle that."_ Alicia said.

She took a deep breath and pushed herself, twisting herself to face Raven and sit back on her lap, with both her legs on either side of Raven - their face close enough for Raven to see her piercing green eyes fill with tears in the dark - she bit her bottom lip, letting out a whimper as pain shot through her body. 

_"Hey, you're doing good. Just deep breathes."_ Raven cooed.

Alicia nodded as she took deep breaths after deep breaths to calm herself, the faster she got it over with, the faster they can get out of here. She blushed at the proximity of their faces - they were barely an inch apart - and Raven chose not to comment on it, because she wasn't faring any better.

_"I'm going to wrap my legs around your waist, try reaching inside my shoe then."_ Alicia said, her voice laced with pain.

Raven nodded - forgoing any smartass comment in consideration of the pain the other girl probably is in and being this close to the other girl was making her brain fry - she felt Alicia's legs wrap around her waist, with a sharp inhale and breathy exhale Alicia felt tears trickle down her cheeks and she did nothing to stop them, because it hurt too much.

Raven felt her heart break at Alicia's tears and she hated that she couldn't do anything to make her feel any better -she couldn't even wrap her arms around the girl to comfort her.

_"Hey, you're doing great. It's gonna take me just a few minutes to get the knife, just relax okay?"_ Raven said as she wrestled with Alicia's shoe to reach the knife inside.

Alicia nodded as she leaned into Raven, letting her forehead rest against her collarbone, tucking herself under her chin - in some semblance of comfort - as she bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying, but couldn't stop trembling.

_"I've almost got the knife, just a few minutes more and we're out of here."_ Raven said feeling the younger girl tremble against her.

_"Ugh whatever. I'm never getting stabbed again."_ she groaned.

_"Yeah, i think that's the best course of action."_ Raven laughed, _"Why don't you tell me more about your adventures, to distract yourself."_

_"Well, I wouldn't really call it adventure though, it's just survival. We've done a lot of things we're not really proud of, but, we're trying to atone for it."_ Alicia sighed.

_"I don't really know you, because we've known each other for barely a day. But, i do know you're a good person. So whatever bad thing you did, I'm sure you must've had a pretty good reason for it."_ Raven said honestly.

Raven did an internal victory dance as she finally managed to get her hands on the blade - it was hidden deep inside the boots and with her hands tied it was kind of hard to grab - now it's just a matter of time before she can cut through the thick rope.

_"How can you be so sure of that?"_

_"You helped Madi when you didn't have to."_

_"What if we had an ulterior motive?"_

_"But you don't."_

_"You don't know that!"_

_"Do you?"_

_".....no"_

_"See, i knew it."_ Ravem smirked.

_"Ugh, whatever. How long will it take? That walker is closer than before."_ Alicia peeked at it quickly before returning to her previous position, _"If i die here, I'm going to come back and bite you."_

_"Kinky."_

_"Oh, you have no idea, RaeRae."_

_"Don't call me that."_ Raven groaned - she hated that nickname.

_"Now i definitely will."_ Alicia smirked, _"RaeRae."_

_"Did anyone ever tell you you're really annoying? Because you are."_

Alicia just grinned.

_"Finally!"_ Raven cheered and flexed her now free hands - the rope really did a number on her wrist if the dull throb and the angry lines were any indication, _"Let me cut you free."_

_"This is why i prefer handcuffs over ropes."_ Alicia said gently massaging her sore wrists.

_"Good to know."_ Raven smirked, _"Are you going to get off me or what?"_

Alicia rolled her eyes as slowly slid off the latino - carefully to not aggravate her injury any more. Raven crawled over to the walker and stabbed the knife through it's skull, putting it out if it's misery - who knew how long it's been there. She stretched her body and shivered despite the jacket, she missed the warmth Alicia provided.

_"Let's go find the other's."_ Raven grinned and extended her hand to the brunette.

_"I can't, you'll have to_ _leave me here and go find the others."_ just a short movement had hurt her so much, walking would be hell.

_"Alicia no. I'm not going to leave you here. We'll find a way."_ Raven argued.

_"Raven from what i know these people are savages, so you need to hurry and find the others and you can't do it with me, I'll just hold you back. So go, when you come back I'll still be here."_

Raven looked at her with a torn expression; on one hand, she knew Alicia had a point, but she can't just leave the girl, who knows what they might do to her. She chewed on the inside of her cheeks as she thought it over - leave Alicia and come back later or stay with her and wait for someone to rescue them.

Even though Raven trusted her friends, she couldn't sit and wait for them to rescue her. Plus the longer they stay here the more danger they could be in. But, she didn't want to leave Alicia here in case those guys come looking.

The determined look on Alicia's pained face was enough for Raven to make her decision - it wouldn't matter anyways, Alicia had already decided - all Raven could do was hope she would be fine.

_"Dammit, i hate this."_ Raven groaned in frustration, _"I'm coming back for you and you better not die, because I'm actually starting to like you. Okay? Plus you have to tell me all about your adventures."_

_"No promises. But if something happens to m-"_

_"Nothing's going to happen to you."_

_"You don't know that. If something does happen, give this to Lexa and tell her that I'm sorry and i love her."_ Alicia handed her the small chain with a small gear at the end she had around her neck - she and Lexa have identical ones, except her's is silver and Lexa's is golden.

_"If you don't die, I'll let you bite me later."_ Raven said as she pocketed the chain.

_"What a charming offer."_ Alicia chuckled.

Raven shrugged off her jacket and drapped it over Alicia - it was cold in the room and she wanted the girl to be as comfortable as possible, even if it meant freezing herself - and kissed Alicia's cheek softly.

_"I'll be back. I promise."_ Raven said.

_"I believe you, RaeRae"_ Alicia grinned, " _For the record you're growing on me too."_

Raven flashed her a smile as she fiddled with the door lock for a moment before it gave way - she's always been good at picking locks. She shot Alicia one last concerned look to which the other girl just smile, and then Raven was gone.

_Bleeding to death in a cold room with a corpse for company, how poetic._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should Raven and Alicia be just friends or maybe more? let me know what you think about it in the comments :)


	7. So We're Just Going To Wait Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

Clarke woke up with a pounding headache and cursed herself for drinking too much last night - it was probably Raven's fault, it always is with her 'drink till you drop dead' ideal - she tried reaching her hands up and massage the headache away, but she couldn't.

_Wait a minute._

The memories of the past few hours - assuming it's been a few hours - ago came back to her. The car crash and being surrounded by Azgeda, they had hit Clarke on the head to knock her out because she pulled out the tranq dart too soon for it to effect her much - so that's why the headache.

At least she doesn't have a concussion.

She opened her eyes to see a barely illuminated room, the only source of light being a barely lit oil lamp, but it was enough for her to see her surroundings and she sighed in half relief - Anya & Octavia were asleep besides her, Lincoln, Aden & Murphy opposite her - but there was no sign of Madi, Raven or Alicia.

 _"Hey, O! Wake up!"_ she whisper yelled to the brunette sprawled to her left.

 _"O!"_ Clarke groaned when she the brunette just turned away in response.

Clarke kicked her shin - harder than necessary - and the girl bolted up, pulling at her ropes in the process and ended up being violently jerked back. Clarke winced at the loud yelp.

 _"What the hell?!"_ Octavia groaned in pain.

 _"I tried calling you."_ Clarke shrugged, feeling slightly apologetic.

Clarke left her to get her bearings and turned to Anya, gently nudging her with her foot - Anya's scary when she's pissed and Clarke did not want to be at the receiving end - Anya was a fairly light sleeper anyways and Clarke's pretty sure Octavia was loud enough to wake the dead.

 _"Fucking Azgeda."_ Anya muttered as soon as she opened her eyes.

 _"Alicia, Raven and Madi aren't with us."_ Clarke said.

 _"Wake the boys, will you, O."_ Anya said, _"We'll find them, once we get out of here."_

_"Any idea how to?"_

_"I'm thinking."_ Anya grunted and pulled at her ropes.

The sudden clicking sounds coming from the door made the six - if three of them were sluggish and half asleep earlier, they aren't anymore - occupants tense in anticipation. Someone was opening the door and that probably wasn't a good thing.

 _"Well, you sure are a haul, huh."_ came the familiar sarcastic drawl and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

 _"What?"_ Octavia frowned.

 _"Heard some guys outside talking about what a great haul."_ Raven grinned as she worked on Anya's ropes, _"Can't say i disagree with them. Because, hot."_ she touched the girl's arms and made a sizzling sound.

Anya rolled her eyes and swatted at the laughing brunette with her - now free - hands. She took the offered switchblade from her and began cutting at Clarke's bindings.

Raven was kind of tired, she had to run and hide around trying to find her friends for the past half hour, her leg hurt and it was really cold - she would've regretted giving her jacket to Alicia if the girl wasn't shivering that badly - she was worried about Alicia. But the room seemed secure, so she hoped Alicia would be fine, but Raven's learnt from experience, hope doesn't keep you alive. Although it does keep you sane.

 _"This is kind of unfair, you're room doesn't have a walker in it like the one I was in had. Although I guess that's good for you guys."_ Raven muttered.

 _"Wait. What?"_ Octavia blanched.

 _"Poor guy was tied to the wall too._ " she frowned - these people are crazy and they should get out of here asap.

 _"Do you know where Madi is?"_ Clarke asked.

 _"She's somewhere in the upper levels of this place, I heard some guys talking about how they finally caught the kid, which I'm guessing is Madi."_ Raven relayed a watered down version of their words - those were some crude words to refer to a kid.

_"I was with Alicia, but I had to leave her behind-"_

_"You what?"_ Anya glared at her.

 _"I didn't want to, but she didn't give me a choice okay? We should hurry though, i don't know how safe it is."_ Raven said dejectedly, she hope Alicia was safe.

 _"That noble little shit."_ Anya grumbled, _"Let me guess, she told you that you need to find us because we could be in more danger than her."_

Alicia has always been the one to take care of others and although Anya loved that about her, she wished the girl would be more selfish and think about herself before worrying about others - at least the apocalypse didn't change her too much.

 _"Yeah, something like that."_ Raven sighed, the chain weighing heavy in her pocket.

 _"Lexa and Luna must be on their way too, right?"_ Aden said.

 _"Okay, so here's the plan, me and Raven will go for Alicia, Clarke and Octavia, find Madi and you boys, arrange us a getaway."_ Anya ordered, _"Clear?"_

Chorus of affirmatives were whispered around the room.

 _"Meet us at the back entrance."_ Lincoln said as he, Murphy and Aden left.

 _"Stay safe and hurry, we don't know how much time we'll have."_ Octavia hugged Raven before she was pulled away by a frantic Clarke.

_"Let's go."_

* * *

_"She's going to separate us all." Alicia said._

_"I know, but we don't have a choice. It's either that or we all die and we can't let them die." Lexa sighed and leaned back into Alicia._

_They still think it's a bad idea. Virginia only keeps those she thinks will be useful and most of the people in the caravan aren't exactly what she would consider useful - most of them can't even defend themselves from a walker properly._

_"She'll definitely separate the two of us." Alicia tightened her arms around Lexa, "She knows we're too strong together. Too strong for her to handle."_

_"Damn right we are." Lexa smirked, "She better be afraid we'll start a riot."_

_"You two are good at that. Inspiring people with words, making them believe you." Al commented._

_"Yeah, we're special like that." Alicia grinned._

_The sound of engines rumbling outside spiked Lexa's anxiety. She's been trying to stay calm for everyone's sake - she doesn't know why but everyone looks up to her - but she's terrified of being separated from Alicia._

_"So this is it." Morgan says as he steps outside the church to talk to Virginia - a few others follow behind, including the twins._

_Why does it feel like a death sentence?_

_Lexa did almost die when Charlie shot her a few months ago - so she does know what a death sentence feels like - the bullet had narrowly missed her vital parts, but it was still lodged just below her heart and moved every time she breathed - there wasn't too much internal bleeding so that was a reprieve._

_She remembers that time vividly, mostly the burning pain, choking on her own blood and most of it all, the fear of dying and leaving Alicia all alone - they only had each other. Alicia had chased June down to the stadium and forced her to treat Lexa on gunpoint, June had insisted on helping John first because she loved him and he was shot first and all that, but Alicia heard none of it - Lexa always came first. They spared her life in exchange - a life for a life._

_Then, Alicia had been trapped in a house during the storm with Charlie of all people, while Lexa was stuck in the SWAT with a sick Al. When the basement caved in on Alicia and Charlie, Lexa didn't even know - thinking about that always made her feel terrible, Alicia was drowning in the basement and she was safely tucked away - she sometimes wondered what would've happened if the two hadn't escaped, she wouldn't even have know what the hell happened to her twin._

_Lexa's always been good at compartmentalizing, so those thoughts were shoved in the 'never gonna think about' box. That doesn't stop the nightmares though and she would prefer to die in those nightmares rather than see her loved one's go through hell._

_"Yeah, feels like that to me too." Alicia sighed._

_"You know I would kill anyone before they touch you, right?" Lexa shoved her lightly._

_"Of course. I would do the same for you." Alicia shoved her back._

_"It still amazes me how you two casually talk murder." Althea shook her head with a laugh._

_"It's not murder if it's self defense." Alicia shrugged. After Andres, the ranch and the vultures, it stopped affecting her because that's the way of this new world - kill or be killed._

_"I wanted to be a criminal lawyer, I would know." Lexa smirked._

_"Have you two ever not taken each others side?" Al asked exasperatedly._

_"We have our differences. Like Lexa here likes blondes, I don't." Alicia shrugged._

_"Is it a momm-"_

_Lexa slapped her hand on Al's mouth before she could complete that sentence and Alicia laughed silently besides her; all while there's a very serious discussion that involves their lives going on outside, but neither of them cares at this moment - probably last moment of peace for a while._

_"I hope I'm not lumped with you, asshole." Lexa grumbled._

_"She won't group the three of us together, she's been keeping an eye at us." Althea shrugged._

_"I hate this." Lexa sighed as Virginia started sorting people in different vehicles._

_"Who doesn't? I just hope I'm with my baby." Al joked staring at her tank._

_"As if she would do that." Alicia snorted._

_"See you guys soon." Althea waved at them as she was ushered away, "Preferably alive."_

_***_

Lexa blinked awake from the memory - it's been a while since she's dreamt about that. She was feeling a bit out if it, the weariness had settled deep in her bones - no thanks to the recent blood loss - and she was exhausted.

_I want a fucking vacation._

_"I was wondering if i would have to kiss you to wake you up."_ Luna laughed.

 _"What?"_ Lexa grumbled, still not fully awake.

 _"Are you okay? I don't remember you being a heavy sleeper."_ Luna asked worriedly.

_"I'm fine, it's just the blood loss making me a bit woozy."_

_"Those are their cars."_ Luna stopped the truck.

Lexa was out of the truck before it fully stops. The front two cars are totaled, but the last one was fine, just empty and the doors are thrown open - they didn't even close the door - they must've been in a hurry. But why?

When Lexa peered into the back of the car and Alicia's weapon of choice, her beloved barrel is still there, Lexa knew without a doubt, they didn't fled, they were taken. Alicia would never leave without it - she named it for gods sake!

 _"They were taken by someone."_ Luna said holding a tranq dart near the first car, _"Azgeda."_

 _"Az - who now?"_ Lexa frowned.

 _"Azgeda. They're this other group of people always stealing and attacking others."_ Luna scowled.

 _"Well, we better hurry then."_ Lexa ran a hand through her messy hairs, it's been a while since she's had a hair tie, _"I'll take this car, just look in the others to see if they left anything."_

Luna nodded as the two wordlessly moved around each other searching the cars for anything useful. The modified walkies, two knives under the seat of Anya's car - Lexa wouldn't expect anything else from her - and a few crackers in the first car.

 _"Fucking assholes."_ Luna muttered.

_"You know the way, right, I'll follow your car."_

Luna went back to the truck as Lexa started Anya's car. She remembered the brief time they had spent in Virginia's settlement - she's pretty sure that woman is still chasing them, they did steal something she desperately wants after all, that's why the twins need to get as far away from Texas as possible and Arcadia wasn't far enough.

Surprisingly enough Virginia had grouped Lexa and Alicia together it made them wonder if she really was that smart. Then she went on giving them some bullshit speech about how they're going to help her build an army. Unfortunately for Virginia, the twins had no such intentions - they bolted after a week. They also destroyed half the settlement they were in - some bowling aisle.

They stole Al's van and left the keys with a short goodbye note with Al, hoping that was enough. It was time for them to move on anyways. Texas had too many bad memories. She just hoped Al was glad to get the little gift - the three had gotten a bit close since their weren't many people to talk to - it almost brings a smile to her face. She hopes someday they'll meet again.

 _"Let's hide the cars here, it's not too far and the cars will give us away."_ Luna's voice came from the walky.

Lexa stretched her slightly sore body as she exited the car and walked towards the obvious direction - the Azgeda settlement used to be a large farmhouse and they can easily sneak near it through the woods - with Luna following behind her, it reminds her of the time they spent in Mexico.

Lexa was always the one in the front and Luna always covered her back - it's been like that since she first saved her at the airport - and now that she thinks about it, she's always been the one to lead an attack, even at the stadium and the convoy.

 _"It's going to rain soon."_ she whispered suddenly.

 _"Okay?"_ Luna sent her a questioning look.

_"A storm is brewing. How far is your settlement from here?"_

_"Two hours."_

Lexa nodded as they keep going. She thought back to the first ever storm she lived through, although there are some gaps in her memory - she remembers the pain and fear vividly though - Alicia filled her in and they learned a valuable lesson - never go in a basement during a storm.

She doesn't really like to think about that time because, well, for one Alicia almost drowned in a fucking basement of all while Lexa wasn't with her and Lexa was shot - right below her heart and it was terrifying - but the oncoming storm brings up the unpleasant memories.

 _"We can't sneak in."_ Lexa suddenly stopped a few feet away from the fence behind a bush.

Luna peeked from behind Lexa and indeed they could not sneak in, well not without being spotted. The fence was in clear view of the two gaurds standing on the wall and there was no cover between the fence and their current position.

 _"I can take then down from here if you give me one of your countless throwing knives."_ Luna was an excellent shot - especially with a rifle, she was on her way to Olympics afterall.

 _"They'll fall backwards and alert others. We can't risk that."_ Lexa chewed the inside of her cheek, tasting the coppery flavor of her blood.

Blood. In her mouth. Choking. Burning in the chest. 

_"Dammit."_ she muttered and clenched her eyes shut, willing the thoughts of that day away, now isn't the time for a panic attack.

_Breathe. Just fucking breathe, dammit. Now is not the time._

_"Hey, what's wrong?"_ Luna gently touched her shoulder, but immediately retracted when Lexa flinched.

 _"Nothing is wrong."_ Lexa gritted her teeth.

_"Lexa-"_

_"Drop it."_ Lexa growled at her, _"_ _Let's just wait until they change shifts or something. It's no use rushing head first."_

_"Okay. You know you can talk to me, right?"_

Lexa did not want to talk about it. 

She didn't even want to think about it, because right now, Alicia needs her.

 _"The guards are gone."_ Luna frowned, _"They just fell back? I don't know what happened."_

 _"Well, they're gone right? So let's just get in."_ Lexa shrugged.

 _"You wanna wing it?"_ Luna grinned. 

_"This is the apocalypse, everything goes wrong no matter how much you plan. There's no time anyways."_ Lexa shrugged.

The two quickly climbed over the fence - keeping an eye on the wall where the guards were - and ran to the back door just as someone tried to open it. Lexa pushed Luna into the wall as the two waited for the door to open.

_"Lincoln?"_

_"Lexa? What are you doing here."_ the boy whispered as Aden and Murphy stood besides him.

 _"That's a really stupid question. Where are the others?"_ Luna rolled her eyes.

 _"They'll be here soon."_ Murphy replied, _"We were just looking for a getaway vehicle and clearing the back entrance. No one should be here for at least another two hours."_

 _"We have two cars parked nearby, two six seaters, so we'll be fine."_ Luna pointed at the direction.

 _"So we're just going to wait here?"_ Lexa frowned.

 _"Yeah, they'll be here soon, it's better to stay put than run around getting lost. Have some faith, Lex."_ Lincoln ruffled her hairs.

He was worried that they might have some problem, but he knew better than to try and find them. They'll just all end up getting lost and/or confused as to where the other is. Plus, he trusted his people - he knows how capable they are.

 _"If they aren't here in 30 minutes, I'm going in."_ Lexa sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think about it in the comments :)


	8. How Are You Still Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

Octavia pulled Clarke by the scruff of her neck as they were about to round a corner, pushed her into the nearby wall and covered the blonde, slapping a hand over her mouth to quieten any protest that she was sure the blonde would make.

They've been sneaking around for the past 15 minutes with Clarke charging headfirst into possible trouble and Octavia pulling her back again and again. She would've been annoyed, but it's only making her worried. She might not be as close to Madi as Clarke is, but she's still the cool aunt and she doesn't like seeing Clarke like this.

 _"Boss said to make sure the girl is given to those science freaks without any harm so don't you dare do anything."_ a voice said.

Clarke stiffened at the mention of science freaks and Octavia sent her a questioning look because she's pretty sure science freaks means the mountain men, but why would they specifically want Madi? She's just a kid.

 _"I'm sure they won't mind if i have a little fun."_ another guy said.

 _"Listen here, you little shit, touch the girl and I'll break your hands, okay?"_ guy number one growled out.

_"O....okay."_

Octavia removed her hand when the sounds of footsteps faded away but still keeps Clarke trapped against the wall, because she knows Clarke will try to rush in there and she can't let her do that - Clarke's not exactly thinking rationally right now and it could get her killed.

 _"Let me go."_ Clarke whispered.

 _"Shut up and let me see the situation first."_ Octavia peeked around the corner.

There were three rooms on one side and two on the other, one guy was standing besides the last room so that must be the one where Madi's been kept. 

It was astonishing, how weak their inner defense was. It's like they don't believe anyone would even think about attacking them. But that's good for Octavia and Clarke - it'll be easier to bust out of here.

 _"There's only one guy."_ she whispered, _"And he's standing infront of the door Madi's probably behind."_

 _"Then what are we waiting for?"_ Clarke frowned.

 _"Oh, i don't know. Maybe the fact that we're weaponless and he's got a gun?!"_ Octavia rolled her eyes.

Clarke opened her mouth to say something when she she realized Octavia's right, as much as she wants to burst in there and bust Madi out, they have to be logical about it. If they get caught, everyone could be in danger.

 _"So what now?"_ she asked instead.

 _"STAY BACK!"_ Madi's voice rang out.

Octavia and Clarke didn't waste any time as they ran towards the - now open - room to see Madi backed into the corner holding a switchblade and the gaurd from earlier towering over her small frame, it made their blood boil. Madi was literally the baby of the group and they would do anything for her.

Octavia jumped at the guard's back and used the element of surprise to wrap her arms around his neck in a chokehold - just the way Lincoln taught her - and tightened her arms as he struggled to free himself by scratching at her. Her forearm burned as he scratched them, but she didn't let go. 

Clarke hurried over to Madi, pulling her into a crushing hug and Madi clung to Clarke as if her life depended on it - which it kind of did.

 _"Where did you get the knife from?"_ Clarke asked as she gave her a once over, thankfully Madi seemed uninjured.

 _"Lexa."_ Madi's hand trembled and the blade clattered on the floor. 

_"Huh, guess i owe her a thanks."_ Clarke muttered and pulled Madi into another hug.

 _"I'm sure you'll find a way to thank her."_ Octavia wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

_"O! Not in front of the kid!"_

_"Don't worry, I like Lexa, so i approve."_ Madi grinned, making Clarke shake her head.

Octavia picked up the knife as she finished tying up the guy and smiled at the engraved 'L' on the hilt of the blade, the rough worn edges around the engraving and the slightly shaky handwriting showed it was a pretty old and used knife and Lexa had most likely engraved it herself. It was cute.

 _"Me and Lexa are going to get along just fine."_ Octavia said fondly.

Clarke shook her head, why are people around her so obsessed with knives and blades? It was just Octavia and Anya earlier, now Lexa too. 

_"Alicia said Lexa's got a collection."_ Madi said, feeling a bit less shaken.

Lexa had tucked the knife in Madi shoes back in the cabin before they met up with the rest and said that they never check the shoes and she was right, they didn't even bother tying her up.

 _"Damn, now i have to see."_ Octavia said, _"Let's go."_

 _"Yeah, okay."_ Clarke nodded, the faster they got out of here the better.

* * *

Alicia should've known by now, that nothing ever goes right in the apocalypse, at least, not for her. She's positive she has the worst luck ever and it's all because Lexa took both their share of luck - that girl has enough luck to compete with a hundred four leafed clovers.

She could go on and about how lucky Lexa is. Lexa got out of San Diego because she just happened to meet a lady with a helicopter who was willing to help a complete stranger in the middle of madness. She also survived a bullet to the chest and yeah, it scarred her forever - mentally and physically - but she lived. Not to mention, Lexa always won the lucky draws - when they were still a thing.

Although Alicia is really glad Lexa is that lucky or else she would probably be dead and Alicia's worst nightmare would come true. But, she just wished she could have atleast a tenth of that luck - maybe then she would stop getting in fucked up situations or well, it would be easier to get out of them.

That is what she thought as she stood in front of a pit. Full of the dead. Again.

A few minutes earlier, two guys had come into the room and grabbed her - very rudely and with little to no consideration to her injuries - and dragged her all the way to this pit. Although they thankfully hadn't noticed the lack of her companion as she had put on a pretty good angry mourning facade and looked at the corpse besides her - she could've been an actress in another life.

She hoped Raven reached the others and got them out at least, because it seems like the end of the line for her. There is no way she can fight through this, it hurts to even stand and she can count atleast a hundred and fifty of them - on any other day she probably could've taken them, but right now, there's no chance.

Today, is just not her day. Neither was yesterday, but she was passed out for most of it so it doesn't really count. Or the day before, when she got stabbed - yeah, that was definitely not her day.

 _"I'll enjoy watching you get teared apart, sweetheart."_ a guy, who obviously was the leader, with his obnoxious extra-showy fur coat, said.

_God i really hate that word._

_"I get that you have mommy issues or whatever. But you really shouldn't take it out on innocent girls."_ Alicia knew she shouldn't have said that, but she was going to die anyways, might as well go out with a bit sass.

 _"Throw her."_ he growled.

And throw her they did. 

She probably blacked out for a minute because when she came to, she had awkwardly landed on her foot and her entire body was screaming in agony, the only reason she wasn't screaming or crying was because she had no energy to do that - she hadn't eaten much in the past 48 hours and recovering was taking it's toll on her body as she could feel herself shutting down, but through sheer will, she managed to stay awake and working.

She's pretty sure she hit her head, therefore the momentary blackout - her vision's a bit wobbly and she can feel her brain vibrating, also that's probably blood flowing down her right temple - and her left ankle is broken or atleast has a very bad sprain and her wound is also bleeding again, which, definitely not good.

Not that anything about this situation could be good - she's broke her left ankle, her wound is bleeding again, she most likely has a concussion, she's in a pit full of walkers and can't really escape by herself. But if she can hold out long enough, Lexa will come for her, she can count on that.

She slowly turned around - to not jostle her body and/or brain too much - and glared at furcoat guy as he laughed. She would deal with him later, if she made it out alive - because one of the walker is heading towards her, soon enough other's would follow and her mind is kind of foggy, which wasn't working in her favor.

_Get a grip Alicia. You are NOT dying here._

_"You know what, sweetheart. I will kill you, myself!"_ she growled and the man's smirk turned into a frown.

She pulled off Raven's jacket and tied it tightly against her wound, to keep some semblance of pressure on it and pulled out another switchblade from her right shoe, curtsy of Lexa, that girl has always had an obsession with kinves and sharp objects and thanks to the apocalypse, she gone a bit - a lot - overboard with it.

Although she did miss her faithful barrel, Stevie, she'll manage with this knife. Lexa had engraved an 'A' on it for her too!

She pushed herself up so instead of laying awkwardly she was standing - more like sitting - on both her knees as the first walker drew closer. She had a plan - sort of - if it didn't work, well, Lexa would get her part of the twin necklace anyways; hopefully it would give her some sort of closure.

She let the walker get closer to her - not that she could do anything about that - and pushed the blade up through it's neck. It slumped over her and she pushed it so that it laid besides her. She stared at it for a moment, her mind still felt a bit foggy, but she currently high on adrenaline.

 _"Well, now comes the gross part."_ she muttered.

She hovered over it, steeling her nerves for what she has to do. A quick glance backwards, made it clear, she didn't have much choice - she would either die painfully, being torn apart with a bunch of assholes getting off of it or she could suck it up and survive. 

And Alicia is a survivor by all means and she promised Lexa that she would do everything in her power to survive and Alicia never breaks a promise.

She stabbed the dead walker's chest and cut through it's front in a vertical line, opening it up enough for her to snake a hand in and cup the blood, generously spreading it all over her face, neck, arms, legs, chest and back. She retched - but managed to keep the negligible contents of her stomach in their place - and shuddered at the gross squishiness of it's insides.

She held her breath as another walker came at her with it's snapping jaws and choking gurgles. It walked right pass her, with just a sniff - or what she assumed was a sniff, because it just stared at her for a moment - in her direction and she smirked at furcoat guy.

_"Looks like your wish won't be full-filled today."_

He frowned at her, then looked up at the sky with a smirk.

_"You, stay here. Call me when it starts pouring."_

A guy nodded as the others walked away. Alicia looked up with a frown and realized why he got all smirky, a storm is coming - it'll wash away all the blood and grime on her, leaving her as free food.

But she's not really worried about that, Lexa will be here before that, she's more worried about Lexa.

Their first ever storm experience wasn't exactly nice, it wasn't even borderline okay - they had both gone a bit over the edge, Lexa got shot and Alicia almost drowned in the basement of a house with the kid who shot Lexa - to say it was traumatic was an understatement, but it was more so for Lexa.

Lexa and Alicia used to have conflicted feelings regarding Charlie since she was indirectly the reason for the stadium's fall and she also shot Lexa. But, Charlie was a good kid and in her defense the twins were hunting her down, so it was a fair reaction, plus the talk she and Alicia had in the house made the twins think everything over - it brought them back from the edge. So, they did took Charlie under their wing, which no one had expected. Everyone's reaction to it was kind of hilarious.

The memories brought a smile to her face. She could almost pretend she was back there with everyone - if it wasn't for the annoying sound of the dead.

She sat back, made herself as comfortable as one could be and removed her left shoe - it would be bad if her swollen ankle got stuck in the shoe, they're good shoes - she finally looking at her ankle. It didn't look broken, so that's a relief. It's probably just a severe sprain, anyways, she's not going to be walking on it anytime soon.

Although Raven said she would come back for her, Alicia doesn't really know Raven - and you can't trust someone you don't really know - even though she does like her. But that's fine, even if everyone else lets her down, she can always count on Lexa. 

_"Heyyy, can I get some water?"_ she asked, just to be annoying - but she did want some water, her head was pounding and she needed something to keep her awake.

_"You-"_

He suddenly slumped down and vanished from her line of sight. 

_"Helloooo? You could've just said no."_ she called out.

 _"Alicia! Fuck, are you okay? You're not bit are you? Dammit I shouldn't have fucking left you."_ Raven said frantically as she saw Alicia covered in blood from head to toes.

 _"I'm fine."_ Alicia smirked, _"Well, not right now, but I'll be fine."_

 _"Thank fuck."_ Anya sighed in relief.

 _"You know, if i had a penny for everytime i was thrown into a ditch full of walkers, I would have two pennies and It's not much but it's just fucked that it happened twice."_ Alicia's groan could rival the dead's.

 _"That's pretty concerning. How are you still alive?"_ Raven said and Anya shot her a glare, _"Although, i am glad you're alive."_

 _"I need a fucking vacation."_ she moaned as Anya threw her a rope, _"In fact, i was on a vacation before I got stabbed."_

_"You're going to get a vacation all right, babygirl. A bed-rest vacation."_

_"Yeah, i know. Lexa's g_ _oing to take revenge for the time i handcuffed her to the bed and ran off to a rescue mission back when she was recovering from being shot."_

Lexa was pretty adamant on going with Alicia to rescue Logan, but Alicia was totally against it. It did work out in their favor at the end when Lexa and Daniel coached them on how to fix the plane and without Lexa back then, it would've been hard. But, Lexa never really forgave Alicia for handcuffing her to the bed.

Lexa was the one who thought those handcuffs would be useful in the first place and they really were. Although Lexa had very easily threatened Charlie to uncuff her, but she had been a second too late, since the plane had already taken off.

 _"Lexa got shot?!"_ Anya said.

 _"You handcuffed her to a bed?"_ Raven laughed at the same time.

_"Yep and yep."_

Alicia tucked her knife in it's rightful place, tossed her shoe up, tied the rope around her torso and used the tautness of it to pull herself up on her right foot, since her entire left side was pretty much out of commission as Anya pulled her.

 _"What happened to your foot?"_ Raven asked.

 _"I meant thrown, literally."_ Alicia said calmly after a concerningly long pause.

 _"What the hell has happened to you all this time."_ Anya huffed, the Alicia she knew wouldn't be so calm.

_"A lot of shit has happened to me Ahn. I'm not that person anymore."_

_"You might've changed, Alicia, but deep down, you're still the same. You're still my baby cousin and no matter what happens, that will never change."_ Anya said in the sternly soft tone she only used with the twins.

 _"Heh, i love you too."_ Alicia grinned, loop-sidedly.

 _"Okay, but why aren't you freaking out? Because I'm freaking out and you're not and that's freaking me out!"_ Raven blurted as Alicia finally got out of the pit.

 _"This isn't the worse situation I've been in and I knew Lexa would come for me if anyone else didn't. She would never leave me. So i wasn't really freaked out."_ Alicia shrugged non chalantly, _"Also, i think have a concession."_

 _"A what?"_ Anya asked as she removed the rope from around Alicia.

_"A concession."_

_"Do you mean concussion?"_ Raven asked.

 _"That's what i said."_ Alicia frowned at them, _"Right?"_

 _"Let's, just get you out of here."_ Anya sighed as she let Alicia climb on her back, since it would be easier to carry her that way, _"Don't fall asleep!"_

 _"I'm not!"_ Alicia protested, _"I was just resting my eyes."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think about it in the comments :)


	9. You never know when you might need to blow things up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

_"What are you doing?"_ Luna asked.

_"Removing my jacket?"_ Lexa said slowly, unsure of why she was being reprimanded.

_"It fucking freezing and you have a thin-ass shirt under it, you'll catch a cold."_

_"I had almost forgotten how much of a mom you are."_ Lexa grumbled, as Luna zipped up her jacket.

It was pretty cold, she knew that and she wasn't feeling too good - or maybe it was Alicia that wasn't feeling good - but the jacket was suffocating. Alicia was in possible danger and Lexa had to trust someone else to help her - even if that someone else was Anya, it didn't made it any better - the oncoming storm was bringing back some memories that she definitely did not want to revisit and she really couldn't afford to have a full blown panic attack right now - at least the biting cold would keep her distracted.

But Luna had a point too, getting a cold in the apocalypse wasn't ideal, mainly because there weren't much medicines left and you never really know if it's a simple cold or something worse. You could end up making others sick and then your entire group might become defenseless.

Lexa should really stop overthinking. But it did distract her from thinking about what she really shouldn't be, so it's fine.

_"it's so weird that you two know each other."_ Lincoln commented.

_"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you guys are here, with me!_ _We never thought we would see you again even though we were planning on passing by your house on the way, we didn't have any expectations."_ Lexa smiled softly, _"And as annoying as Luna is, i missed her too."_

_"I'm just glad your here, Lex."_ Lincoln smiled gently.

_"Ugh, you sap, i missed you too."_ Luna pulled her in a half hug, _"I wasn't even sure you survived the explosion and with the amount of walkers attracted to that sound, i couldn't even look."_

_"Me and Alicia got away with just a few scratches, but Nick was pretty bad, not that it matters anymore."_ she said sadly.

_"What happened to Nick and Aunt Madison? If you don't mind telling."_ Lincoln asked - he and Nick were close when he wasn't MIA or in rehab and even then, they tried to stay in touch. 

_"Some assholes led a horde to our settlement, they didn't make it."_ Lexa replied.

Everyone fell silent after that, not knowing what to say. Even the end of the world couldn't make people better, there really is no hope for humanity. The Arkers are pretty familiar with that, thanks to Azgeda and the mountain men.

Lexa closed her eyes and slumped against the wall away from the others - twirling a dagger around to stop herself from fidgeting too much - as she tried to not think about what was happening to Alicia right now. 

She and Alicia have always had a close bond, maybe it was a twin thing - or maybe it was because they didn't have anyone else - and they had to grow up quickly because of Steven's death, Nick's addiction and Madison's negligence.

Things weren't good per say, but as long as the two of them were together, everything would be fine.

They've been through a lot - together and individually - and it only made their bond stronger. Every time one of them gets lost, the other is there, to show them the way - like the time Alicia lost herself in the craze of helping people because she thought that is what she had to do in order to redeem herself and that is what Madison wanted them to do, even if it killed her or the time Lexa felt defeated and lost and thought she had to leave so she wouldn't hold Alicia back anymore, just because she couldn't watch her twin sister give herself away.

They've had their differences, they've fought like there's no tomorrow, they've hurt each other. But that never changed the fact that it's always them verses the world - even if they hate each other at the moment.

_"You know, I never thanked you."_ Luna said as she stood besides Lexa.

Lexa was exhausted. Her entire body was aching and all she wanted to do was sit down and relax. But she knew if she sat down, the exhaustion that she's been trying to keep at bay would take over and she wouldn't be able to get up again, which would not be good because she could have to run at a moment's notice. So she opted to just stand. 

_"For what?"_ Lexa frowned.

_"For all those times you saved my ass. I wouldn't be here without you."_

_"Are you okay? You're not bit are you? Fuck, this isn't some I'm going to die so i want you to know how much you mean to me shit is it?"_ Lexa asked worriedly as she scanned Luna for any injury.

Luna sat there frozen.

_"Asshole, I was trying to be nice to you."_ Luna punched her arm.

_"Well, I'm sorry for worrying about you, but that's honestly what this felt like. You just scared me, okay? I'm just a bit on edge."_

_"She'll be fine, you know. She's strong, i can see it in her eyes and how she holds herself. She's just like you in that aspect. Although prettier."_ Luna smirked.

_"Is this a pathetic attempt to hit on my sister? And here i thought you had game."_ Lexa shoved her.

_"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll try to do better next time."_

Lexa rolled her eyes at the older girl's antics. She had learned early in their journey that Luna was a massive flirt and even though it was kind of annoying, she would never admit that she missed it a little bit.

_"Everyone always thought I was the stronger twin, but she's always been the one to ground me. She's stronger than she or anyone thinks and that scares me because she has these ambitions, even in this fucked up world, she's trying to help people and i love her for it but, she's constantly putting herself in danger. Just look at what happened."_

_"We all need something to keep going i guess. If helping other's does it for her, then so be it. But, what about you?"_

Lexa frowned at that. What keeps her going? She never really thought about it. In the beginning, it was reuniting with her family and after that, it was keeping them safe - and she couldn't even do that. And now, now it's keeping Alicia safe - and she's spectacularly failing at that.

_"I don't know. My family, i guess. Or what's left of it."_ she scoffed bitterly.

_"It's the same for me. Raven is my family and she's all that keeps me going and by extension all the other dumbasses too."_ Luna shrugged.

_"You going soft, Lake?"_

_"As if you aren't, Commander."_

The two stood in comfortable silence, it's always been that way for them. Even back at the airport, they had instantly clicked - Luna had accidentally dumped her scalding tea on Lexa and then they bonded over their shared love for tea - so when shit went down, they couldn't have asked for a better companion.

The apocalypse does have a way of bringing people closer after all.

Lexa's inner musings were cut short when the back door opened and she tensed, feeling slightly hopeful, but she also kept her knife ready to be thrown at a moments notice of trouble.

When blonde hair and blue eyes peeked through the door, Lexa let herself relax a bit. She and Luna walked over to the trio that emerged from inside and Lexa's face fell as only three people stepped out.

_"The other's aren't here?"_ Clarke frowned as she looked at Lexa's sullen face - the brunette looked awfully pale.

_"No."_ Lincoln said as he quickly checked Octavia for an injury, despite the girl telling him she was fine.

_"Me and Luna will stay here, you guys should go to the cars, everyone crowding here won't do any good."_ Lexa said.

_"I'll stay too."_ Clarke said.

_"Okay, we'll keep the cars ready to run."_ Octavia nodded.

Luna, Lexa and Clarke watched the other's climb over the fence and vanish behind the trees. 

_"Your freezing and you're awfully pale and you're also sweating."_ Clarke narrowed her eyes at Lexa who squirmed under the gaze, _"You're sick."_

_"I'm fine."_ Lexa ducked away from the hand coming up to check her temperature and stood behind Luna.

_"Who's the doctor?"_

_"Well, technically you're not a doctor Clarke."_ Luna commented.

_"Are you on her side or mine?"_ Clarke huffed.

_"Obviously her."_ Luna smirked.

_"Traitor."_

_"I swear I'm fine. I'm just a bit dizzy, my throat hurts, my head is throbbing and my entire body is in pain. But I'm fine."_ Lexa said although it wasn't fine, but she could hold on for a bit more, at least until they're all safely in the cars, _"Plus you can't do anything about it right now."_

_"You're unbelievable."_ Clarke rolled her eyes, _"When we're out of here, you need rest and medicine. Your sister too."_

Lexa shrugged and slumped against the wall. She's not been feeling the best since she woke up - and the event after that haven't made it any better. But she can't rest or even think about it right now or else her body might just shut down and she can't afford that right now. Not until she's sure Alicia is all right. Sure, Anya, Luna and the others are there and she does trust them, but she haven't been around these people in a long time and the apocalypse changes people - it brings out the worst in them. 

Clarke huffed, because ultimately Lexa was right, she can't really do anything about it right now. She leaned beside her, sticking close to the brunette for the shared body heat, at least that's what she was trying to convince herself with although there's no denying the pull she feels towards the brunette.

Lexa perked up when she heard Anya's voice nearing them and quickly pushed herself off the wall to open the door, just as Raven opened it from the inside.

_"Fuck!"_ Raven squealed as the door gave way on it's own, expecting to be decked the moment it opened, but was greeted by Alicia?

_"Oh, right. Lexa."_ Raven said to herself, she almost forgot about the other twin.

_"It was like the fucking cult, this is blood is not mine and i was not bit."_ Alicia said before Lexa could ask anything.

_"We need to hurry."_ Anya urged.

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat - Alicia could've died and she was just standing around waiting for someone else to help her - she swore she would always look after Alicia, how could she have just sat back and depended on someone else? The guilt of what could've happened gnawed at her.

_"There they are!"_ someone shouted from inside.

_"Go. I'll hold them off."_ Lexa said and shrugged her bag off.

_"What? No, we can't!"_ Clarke grabbed the sleeve of the jacket Lexa was wearing.

_"Clarke, go, I'll be right behind you."_ Lexa pushed her away.

Anya was already half way through since she had Alicia and wanted to get the younger girl away safely. Anya didn't doubt Lexa, the girl never does anything without a plan.

Luna nodded at Lexa and grabbed Raven and Clarke as the three ran behind Anya and Alicia. Even though Clarke wanted nothing more than to stay with Lexa - this is the second time they're leaving the girl behind - Luna had a strong grip on her forearm. 

_"Why are we leaving her to take care of those guys alone?"_ Raven asked, it seemed unfair to her.

_"It's Lexa."_ Luna shrugged.

_"You don't need to worry about Lex, she's always got a plan, even if it looks like she doesn't."_ Alicia grinned.

_"Where's Lexa?"_ Madi asked as the adults made their way to the cars.

_"What the fuck happened to Alicia?"_ Octavia said noticing the girl.

_"We'll talk later, she's fine, so don't worry."_ Anya said. 

Raven opened the car door and Anya sat Alicia on the edge as Clarke kneeled in front of her. She wordlessly removed the jacket tied around the wound and lifted the bloodied shirt to check the stitches.

_"This is bad, i need to stitch it up again and the risk of infection is even more now."_

_"Lexa is so going to kill me."_ Alicia muttered, making Clarke laugh.

As the other's quickly shuffled into the two cars - it was kind of a tight fit, but they made it work - a loud explosion from Azgeda made them pause and look over there in confusion.

_"Holy fuck! Was that a bomb?"_ Raven said, _"Did you guys have a bomb with you all this time?!"_

_"Grenades actually."_ Alicia grinned, _"You never know when you might need to blow things up."_

Raven gasped dramatically as she stared at the grinning brunette and turned to Luna, _"I think I'm in love."_

_"Get in you dork."_ Luna shook her head with a laugh.

A few seconds later Lexa emerged from the canopy looking a bit ragged, she had a split lip, a bleeding forearm, her steps were a bit wobbly and she was blinking way too much to be okay.

_"Hurry."_ she said slid in through the open car door and Luna immediately took off, behind the other car.

_"You okay?"_ Clarke asked from beside her.

_"Couldn't get far enough, I can't hear shit except that annoying ringing."_ she said with a wince.

_"For what it's worth, that was fucking awesome!"_ Raven said giddily, her eyes sparkling.

_"Of course Raven 'make things go boom' Reyes would say that."_ Anya said through the walky.

Clarke pulled Lexa's hand away from her ears and checked to make sure they weren't bleeding, which thankfully they were not. 

_"You'll be fine."_ Clarke said and Lexa must've understood something if the smile - that did not make Clarke's heart skip a beat - was any indication.

Clarke turned to the other twin who looked ready to pass out. She didn't have any medical supply with her right now so the stitches would have to wait, but the wound really needs to be cleaned.

Lexa handed Clarke a hip flask, _"Alcohol, clean the wound."_

Clarke nodded and poured the amber liquid over the cut. since only half the stitches were ripped, it wasn't that bad but she was mainly worried about infection. Alicia winced at the burn but had no strength to push it away.

_"You keep a flask on you now, commander?"_ Luna said.

_"A girl's gotta drown her sorrows somehow."_ Lexa smirked.

_"Hey, now we both have gone through near death injuries."_ Alicia laughed and winced when it caused the pain to flair up again.

_"Shh. Sleep."_ Lexa scolded.

_"Near death injury?"_ Clarke asked.

_"I got shot a while ago."_ Lexa shrugged, _"I got lucky."_

_"You call getting shot lucky?!"_ Raven said what everyone was thinking.

_"Well surviving a bullet near the heart in the apocalypse is lucky."_

_"Jesus Fuck, you guys are unbelievable."_ Raven said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really love writing about Lexa and Alicia's relationship, but we're gonna get some Clexa scenes soon.
> 
> let me know what you guys think about this chapter and/or what you wanna read in the next chapter(s) in the comments :)


	10. We Have Hot Showers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

_"Alicia. Can we talk? Alone." Lexa said, eyeing the blonde guy trying to getting into her pants._

_Recently, the convoy has increased and a lot of new faces are around. Lexa has been keeping her distance from them, but since Alicia was the one to rescue them, they've been sticking to her - specially the boys - not that Lexa was surprised by that._

_"She's all your." the boy said with a grin._

_Lexa clenched her jaw and glared at the boy who couldn't get away faster._

_"Play nice Lex." Alicia scolded lightly as the two walked away from the group._

_"He's a creep. Him and his frat bros. I'm not playing nice with them." Lexa scoffed._

_Alicia laughed and shook her head at her twin's antics. It's hilarious watching Lexa get pissed at them when they dare to get close to her, which happened often that you would think._

_"So, what's up?"_

_Lexa closed her eyes and deep breath to calm herself. She's been planning on having this conversation with Alicia for days, planning all possible and impossible ways Alicia could react to it, but no matter how much you plan, the real thing is always difficult._

_"What was that earlier today? With that 70-something lady and yesterday with that blonde girl and before that with the frat boys, the minefield, the airplane and everything that came after?"_

_"What do you mean Lex?"_ Alicia frowned.

_"Do you know how many times you almost died since we joined Morgan? Ten. Ten times i saw you put your life on the line for someone you don't even know. You flew in a plane to save some guy who ended up tricking you, might i add just like i said he would. You stepped in a fucking minefield for a lady who didn't even open the fucking door. You almost got bit by a walker for that 70 something lady who looked like she would drop dead at any moment." Lexa exhaled shakily._

_"So? Are you saying their lives don't matter just because we don't know them? Just because saving them is hard? Just because they're too old to survive by themselves?" Alicia scoffed, how could her sister think like that?_

_"What i am trying to say is that you don't have to risk your life to save theirs! You've been going down this rabbit hole of thinking you have to help people to make your life mean something, but that's not how it works! I haven't said anything all this time because i though this is what you needed, but you almost got bit today Alicia! And i don't care if this sounds selfish but i can't fucking lose you too!" Lexa's eyes burned with the effort of keeping the tears at bay._

_"You don't get it, Lexa. I have to make up for everything I've done. And this is what mom wanted for us! It might not matter to you, but it does to me!" a lone tear slid down Alicia's cheek._

_"She didn't want us to lose ourselves, she didn't want us to be some self-sacrificing hero, she wanted us to live. And this is not living Alicia. This convoy and saving people shit Morgan is preaching is killing you. And i am not going to stand and watch what happens next." Lexa said softly - wiping the tear off Alicia's face - her throat felt raw and her voice broke near the end._

_"If you don't believe in this, then i guess you should leave." Alicia said coldly and stepped back, "It's not like anything is stopping you."_

_Alicia regretted her words as soon as she spoke them but she was too annoyed, angry, stubborn and confused to take them back. So she did what one does in a confrontation like this._

_She left._

_Lexa stood there frozen at the spot as she saw Alicia leave and she would be lying if she said her heart didn't broke into a million little pieces at those words. This wasn't in any of the planned scenarios in her head, she didn't know what to do. They've fought before but Alicia's never told her to leave._

_It was supposed to be them against the world. No matter what._

_Lexa didn't know how much time had passed when she walked back to camp, but it must've been pretty late because the common area was empty and all the lights were off too. Alicia wasn't in their van, but that was to be expected and Lexa was glad for that._

_She grabbed a bag and stuffed a few clothes in it, grabbed her utility belt with all her knives in it - she had quite a collection of them - and thigh holster - she didn't really like guns and being around them made her nervous, especially since getting shot, but they're a necessity - and quickly got dressed in her warmest pair of clothes._

_If Alicia wanted her to leave, then there is nothing else keeping her with this stupid convoy that she didn't like since the beginning. The bigger the group, the more the problems, she doesn't even like any of them._

Lexa silently stood at the edge of the parameter and looked back one last time before she turned around and walked away. She has no idea where she's going, but, it doesn't really matter anymore. No where is safe. Maybe she'll go back to the stadium and clear it out or maybe she'll go to their family cabin.

At least Alicia would be able to find her there if she ever changed her mind.

***

Alicia blinked awake with a grimace. 

That day was the third worse day of her life - the first being watch Lexa die slowly as she choked on her own blood and watching the rest of her family die being the second - coming back to the van the next morning only to find Lexa gone with all her stuff and note that just said 'north' made her feel worse than she already felt.

She shouldn't have said that to Lexa, the older twin was just looking out for her.

After Alicia cooled down a bit, she went through Madison's video on Al's camera, a stern scolding from Al and Charlie, talking with John and a lot of self reflecting, Alicia realized that Lexa was right - just like she always is. She never really though how her reckless, borderline self-destructive actions were affecting Lexa or even herself.

She didn't even think about how self-destructive her actions were.

That was the problem - she didn't think.

She ended up driving Lexa away. But Lexa left a note with a direction, so maybe she wasn't too mad at Alicia, so Alicia took off to beg for her twin's forgiveness and talk to her about all the things going on in her head. Lexa has always been the level-headed one, she's understanding to the point it gets annoying because you just can't get a rise out of her - even back then, she was pissed and worried but never snapped. 

_"Lex.."_ she whispered.

_"Alicia? Hey, it's okay, I'm here."_

Alicia turned to the sound of Lexa's voice and sighed in relief. Lexa was here. She's not going away.

 _"Lex? Where? What?"_ Alicia looked around in confusion.

The last thing she remembered was being in a car and for some reason her stomach was on fire. But here she is, laying on a bed that's way too comfortable, in a room that looks at lot like a hospital, with Lexa sitting on a chair besides her with that ridiculous bandana she wears ever since the cult incident, so that people don't figure out the two of them are twins.

 _"We're at the Ark. This is their med bay. You got hurt, remember?"_ Lexa said trying to not let her worry show. The doctor - Jackson - did say Alicia might have some trouble remembering since she hit her head.

The group had reached the Ark in the dead of the night about an hour ago, just before the storm hit full force. They had easily passed through the gate since the leaders of this place were asleep - although Lexa did have to give up her swords, the barrel and the Glock, thankfully not her hidden knives, since the gaurds couldn't find them - Luna did warn them that the morning would be hell for all of them with the interrogations.

 _"Oh, right. That happened."_ Alicia sighed, _"Where are the others? Are they all okay?"_

_"Yeah, they went to clean up a bit."_

_"Okay. I'm tired. I think I'm just going to sleep again."_ Alicia mumbled, _"You get some rest. I don't want to wake up and hear that you've been sitting here the whole time. Got it?"_

 _"Yes ma'am."_ Lexa saluted.

 _"Promise?"_ Alicia lifted her pinky finger.

 _"Promise."_ Lexa hooked their pinkies together with a smile.

Alicia was out as soon as she closed her eyes.

 _"Lexa? Did she wake up?"_ Clarke whispered as she walked over to the twins.

_"Yeah. She's fine, just went back to sleep. Must've been exhausted."_

_"You need rest too and a change of clothes."_ Clarke offered her hand, _"You're wet and not in the way i would like you to be."_

Lexa chuckled.

_"Seriously, she'll be fine, you can check up on her later. And you're not exactly in the best condition yourself."_

Lexa sighed and looked at Alicia sleeping peacefully one last time before gently grabbing the offered hand, letting Clarke pull her up. Clarke accidentally - on purpose - used too much force and Lexa ended up in her arms, their faces close enough for Lexa to feel Clarke's warm breath on her lips.

 _"I have a cold, Clarke."_ Lexa whispered, making Clarke shudder.

 _"I have a strong immune system."_ Clarke whispered and closed the gap.

Lexa sighed into the kiss as Clarke's warm hands cupped her face gently and Lexa's hands slid down to Clarke's waist. Lexa pulled back as she started feeling a bit lightheaded and rested her forehead against Clarke's.

 _"Come on, let's get you out of these clothes."_ Clarke husked.

 _"I can't tell if you're trying to talk sexy or worried."_ Lexa laughed as she let the blonde pull her along.

 _"You look like you're going to pass out so i'll go with worried."_ Clarke shook her and led the brunette to her room at the Ark.

The hallways were empty as the duo walked through, although it was more Clarke dragging Lexa. Lexa looked around the place with a frown - the Ark looked pretty safe, but she felt trapped here, since there was no window in sight and all the metal around made her feel caged - she hadn't realized when her breath turned panicky.

 _"Lexa?"_ Clarke said as she quickly pulled Lexa into her room and closed the door behind her.

 _"I'm fine."_ Lexa leaned back against the door and closed her eyes.

Clarke cupped Lexa's face in both hands and gently stroked her cheek. Lexa's face was burning from the cold and so was her body. All Clarke wanted to do was get Lexa to rest, but the brunette was on the verge of a panic attack and Clarke had no idea how to help her.

 _"I'm fine._ _"_ Lexa sighed heavily and sagged against Clarke, her head resting in the blonde's shoulder, _"It's a bit caged here and all the things just caught up to me and i guess i panicked and fuck I'm so exhausted-."_

 _"Lexa. Breathe."_ Clarke interrupted before the girl could ramble further.

_"Right."_

_"Come on, the bathroom is that way, let's get you cleaned up._ _I can give you some if my clothes to wear."_ Clarke said pointing to a second door in the room. 

_"You sure are eager to get me naked."_ Lexa smirked.

 _"We have hot showers."_ Clarke raised an eyebrow.

_"Should've led with that."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment to let me know what you think :)


	11. How Do You Accidentally Threaten Someone?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

_"Ah! Fuck....Luna....be gentle."_ Raven moaned.

Luna huffed and kissed the inside of her thigh as she slowed down her ministrations, making the brunette groan obscenely.

Luna stopped her hands and clenched her eyes shut, taking a deep breathe.

_"Why did you stop?!"_ Raven whined.

_"Babe, can you stop making it sound like we're having sex? It's distracting."_ Luna said before starting up again.

_"I mean, we could be doing that....ah....But you're the one who insisted."_

_"Well if someone didn't wear the brace for 48 hours in a row."_ Luna rolled her eyes.

Raven had a car accident a 5 years ago which damaged her spine. Although most of her doctors had no hope of her ever regaining feeling in her left leg, one of them - Abby, Clarke's mom - never let Raven give up hope. Through 3 years of physical therapy, she managed to gain most of the feeling in her leg, but still has to wear a leg brace sometimes to not put too much strain on the leg - it's worse in the winters.

She's not particularly happy about it, but it could've been worse.

The two had built up a routine in the past few months they've been at the ark. Every night after a hot shower, Luna would give Raven a massage until the tension in the muscles loosened and sometimes Raven returned the favor - although she wasn't really good at it, it's the thought that counts - sometimes that would escalate when hands start to wander or the two would just fall asleep.

_"I forgot about it with everything that happened. I mean, can you blame me?"_ Raven grinned sheepishly.

_"I know, i just worry about you."_

_"I know babe and i love that about you. You're such a mom."_ Raven snickered and winced when Luna pinched her in retaliation.

_"I'm surrounded by literal children, so someone has to take that job. The only other sensible person in the group is Anya."_

_"Yeah. You're the mom of the group and she's the daddy."_ Raven laughed loudly, _"And might i remind you, you're talking to a certified genius right now."_

_"Babe, i saw you crying because you couldn't figure out how to unzip your jacket, so that line doesn't work on me."_ Luna grinned.

_"In my defense, i was sleep deprived."_ Raven pouted. Luna always brought that up. It happened once!

Luna shook her head with a chuckle as Raven pulled her up so she was straddling the brunette. She dipped her head down and claimed Raven's lips in a slow kiss. They were both exhausted and despite what she said, all Raven wanted to do was sleep.

_"Hi."_ Raven whispered when the two parted for air and had somehow ended up laying side by side.

_"Hi."_ Luna pulled the cover over them.

_"How are you feeling? With Lexa being back. I know you missed her a lot."_

_"It's kind of surreal."_ Luna sighed, _"Back at the dam I.... I saw a walker that looked like her and I thought.... and now she's here and alive."_

Luna had lost count how many times Lexa had saved her life. Even back at the beginning, when they met a walker for the first time in the airport bathroom, if it wasn't for Lexa, she wouldn't have survived. 

_{"I'm so sorry, I was talking to my girlfriend and didn't see you." Luna said._

_"It's okay, i wasn't really paying attention either. We're both at fault here." Lexa chuckled._

_She had been talking to Alicia on the phone and bumped into Luna who spilled tea all over her. Luna was nice enough to offer help her clean up a bit - not that Lexa minded smelling like jasmine._

_"It's a shame you spilled the tea though. Jasmine is a nice one."_

_"I can always buy more." Luna shrugged, "And since you seem to like it, let me buy you one to make up for this."_

_Suddenly, the bathroom door banged open, making the two jump. A blonde girl staggered in, looking worse for wear. Her eyes were blood shot and she looked quite pale. She walked over to a nearby stall and vanished inside._

_"She seemed a bit off, do you think she's okay?" Luna whispered._

_The two exchanged concerned looks before shrugging it off - if the girl needed help, she would ask for it._

_Lexa got rid of her soaked shirt and cleaned off the tea with some wet paper towels as Luna pulled a pair of extra clothes she had in her travelling bag since Lexa didn't have her luggage with her._

_Another loud thump from the blonde's direction made them flinch. Lexa quickly shrugged on the shirt and followed Luna to where the blonde was. The girl was lying on the bathroom floor, foam covering her mouth._

_Lexa shook off the ominous feeling and kneeled besides the girl and checked her pulse._

_"Lexa?"_

_"She OD'd. We need to call the airport authorities." Lexa exhaled shakily._

_"Are you sure?"  
_

_"My brother's an addict, so yeah, i'm sure. She's dead."_

_Luna looked away from the body and walked to the bathroom door._

_"It's locked." she frowned and tried the door again._

_"What do you mean it's locked?" Lexa walked over to her and tried the door, "What the fuck? Why would they lock it?" she banged at the door, "Hello? Anybody there?"_

_No answer._

_"We are sorry to inform you that all flights have been cancelled and the airport is under mandatory lockdown. Please remain where you are and do not panic." the announcement said._

_"Are you fucking kidding me?" Luna muttered, "Don't panic? They can't just lock down the airport without any_ _explanation!"_

_"Fuck. What now?" Lexa looked back at the blonde._

_"I don't know. Dammit! As if being locked in here wasn't bad enough, there's a dead person."_

_Lexa banged at the door again, but there was still no reply or any indication that someone might've heard them. The two were starting to panic when the heard a low groan from the blonde's direction._

_They froze and looked at each other in confusion._

_"You said she's.... dead."_

_Everything in Lexa's body was screaming at her to get the hell away from here but she remained frozen at her spot as another groan came from the blonde's direction before heavy, dragging steps were heard._

_Luna had no idea what the hell was going on. She took one step towards the blonde when Lexa pulled her back. The younger girl looked terrified and her hands were trembling ever so slightly._

_"Don't.... please.... just don't go there. Something's very wrong." Lexa pleaded._

_Luna was about to say something when the blonde came into view. The first thing Luna noticed was her eyes - they were white and glassy and empty - she didn't look very alive._

_"Excuse me ma'am?" Luna said._

_"Luna don't. We need to get out of here. Please. Listen to me." Lexa gripped her arm hard enough to leave bruises._

_"We can't. She might need some help."_

_The blonde was slowly making her way to the duo with her hands outstretched, with low chocked groans that made Luna uneasy and sent shivers down Lexa's spine. When her hand was inches away from Luna, Lexa pushed the other girl away. The blonde pounced at Lexa who held up her hand in defense._

_"Fuck!" Lexa let out a grunt of pain as the blonde bit her left hand._

_Lexa moved on pure instinct after that. She grabbed the girl by the back of her neck and pushed her into the wall. With a loud crack, the blonde dropped on the floor, thick reddish black blood dripping down the pristine white tile._

_'What the hell did you do?!" Luna said half-shocked, half-angry._

_Lexa crouched down in fetal position as she cradled her broken hand. She had broke it during her final match two days ago because apparently her opponent played dirty, but she still won. The blonde had bit on her cast and now Lexa was in a world of pain. She had no idea what was going on around her as she clenched her eyes shut, waiting for the pain to pass._

_"That.... thing, is not human." Lexa croaked out when she realized what she had done, "I had to.... I had to or else.... something bad.... something bad is going on."_

_Luna sat across the brunette with her head in her hand._

_"What now?"}_

Raven snuggled further into Luna to comfort her. Luna doesn't really like talking about the what happened before they reunited. That doesn't really surprise Raven, things were bad in the beginning, Raven and her group had left the city as soon as shit started to go down so they didn't come across too much trouble, but what they saw and heard was bad enough.

Back then, when she had no idea if Luna was even alive, listening to all the stories of the people they came across made it seem hopeless.

_"I like Alicia. She seems nice."_ Raven said, _"Lexa is well okay. She's really scary though. She almost killed me twice."_

_"What did you do?"_

_"You really don't trust me, huh."_ Raven pouted.

_"Am I wrong though?"_

_"I accidentally threatened Alicia back when they just came in."_ Raven said sheepishly

_"How do you accidentally threaten someone?!"_ Luna laughed.

_"I didn't realize it was threatening until i had a knife on my throat. It was really hot though."_

_"You and Murphy need to learn to shut your mouths."_ Luna admonished.

_"Oh come one, we're not that bad."_

Luna looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

_"Okay fine. We can't help it."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to write that flashback and some SeaMechanic
> 
> let me know what you think about it in the comments :)


	12. I Think I Fucked Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

Lexa woke up slowly. She was in am extremely comfortable bed, with a warm body that was not her sister - Alicia clings while sleeping because she gets cold easily and according to her Lexa is a natural space heater - and the sound of shuffling feet.  
  
 _Wait a minute._  
  
Lexa pulled out the knife strapped to her thigh - she never removes that knife - and sat up quickly in one swift motion, the tip of her knife pointed at the intruder.  
  
She faltered when she saw who it was.  
  
 _"Madi?! Shit. Sorry."_  
  
 _"Wha?"_ Clarke looked between the two brunette's in confusion.  
  
 _"I should, ummm, i gotta go."_ Lexa stuttered.  
  
Before Clarke or Madi had time to react, Lexa got dressed and grabbed her bag that held all her stuff - when you're living in the wild, you get used to getting ready to run at a moment's notice - and all but bolted out of the room.  
  
 _"What just happened?"_ Clarke looked at the closed door and then at Madi.  
  
 _"I was just going to wake you up, but the next thing i know i have a knife at my throat?"_ Madi gulped nervously.  
  
She knew Lexa wouldn't hurt her, but that was terrifying and with the week she's had, it brought back some unpleasant memories.  
  
 _"Are you okay?"_ Clarke frowned - why did Lexa do that?  
  
 _"Yeah. I'm fine. We should get breakfast though and you should talk to her and tell her i'm sorry for whatever i did to spook her. I didn't mean to."_ Madi chewed at her bottom lip anxiously.  
  
She liked Lexa and Alicia. They were strong and brave and so smart and kind and helped people even when they didn't had to, so she wanted them to like her and Lexa hating her for this was the exact opposite of that.  
  
 _"Mads, hey, i'm sure it wasn't your fault okay."_ Clarke cupped her face and kissed her forehead, _"Let's go get breakfast and i'll talk to Lexa. Okay?"_  
  
 _"Ok."_  
  


* * *

  
Lexa's mind was racing as she walked to the infirmary. Why did she do that? God! Madi must've been scared, she knows how scary and intimidating she looks with a knife in her hand - Alicia loves teasing her for that - and pointing it at a child? That's just insane.  
  
 _"Lex? What's wrong?"_  
  
Lexa blinked a few times and looked around. She was in the infirmary, how did she get here so fast?  
  
 _"I think i fucked up, Lysh."_ she sighed and collapsed on the chair.  
  
 _"Do we need to run out of here? Because you'll have to help me into my clothes and carry me."_ Alicia said seriously, won't be the first time they had to run because one of them fucked up.  
  
 _"I think so? I pointed a knife at Madi accidentally. Clarke must hate me right now and then everyone else will too and we'll probably have to leave?"_ Lexa fidled with her thumb ring and unconsciously started bouncing her leg.  
  
 _"What? Why did you do that?"_ Alicia placed a calming hand on her knee.   
  
_"I was sleeping and i heard shuffling and i thought.... and then.... it just happened! What do I do now?"_  
  
 _"Okay. What did Clarke and Madi had to say to that?"_  
  
 _"I don't know, I just ran out of there._ "  
  
Alicia looked at her twin in exasperation. For someone so smart, she can be pretty dumb sometimes.  
  
 _"You ran? Lexa! Have I taught you nothing? You should talk to her, you know, explain the situation. I could feel the heart eyes last night even though i was half-dead, so she'll at least try to understand your side of the story. If she doesn't, and blames you for, i don't know traumatizing her kid, then I guess, she doesn't deserve you."_  
  
 _"I panicked, okay? But I guess, that could work. I'm sure she'll understand that it was a reflex action and i didn't mean to hurt Madi or scare her."_ Lexa nodded.  
  
Alicia shook her head and chuckled. Everyone always says, Lexa is always so calm and cool-headed and never really loses her composure - what a fucking joke! If only they knew what a mess this girl is.  
  
 _"Enough about me though, how was your night? Did you sleep okay? Are you in pain? Do you need something? Should i call the doctor? What about food? Are you allowed to eat-"_  
  
 _"Lexa. Breathe."_  
  
 _"Right. Sorry. I'm just worried."_ Lexa exhaled loudly.  
  
 _"I'm fine. My night was okay, this bed is amazing. It doesn't hurt that much and i don't need anything right now. The doctor already checked me up and hooked me with some IV because it'll be easier for me to heal if i don't eat solid food for a while, since the wound is near my stomach. SO just relax, i'm fine."_  
  
 _"Okay. How long will we have to stay here?"_  
  
 _"About a month."_ Alicia said, _"Do you want to stay here? We can give up the wild goose chase, if you do."_  
  
 _"Do you want to?"_ Lexa countered.  
  
 _"I asked first."_  
  
Lexa sighed as she thought it over. Does she want to stay here? She doesn't know. This place looked pretty safe with the electric fences and they even have electricity and hot water and almost everything, but it just gives off a bad vibe to her. There's some catch to this place and she's not sure she wants to risk it.  
  
But, Anya, Lincoln and Aden are here - also Clarke - and she wants to be with them but, it's just not enough. She and Alicia are outsiders here, so if anything ever goes wrong, they'll be the first ones in danger and things can go really wrong really fast in the apocalypse.  
  
 _"I don't know. There's Anya, Linc and Aden, but this place gives off a bad vibe and it's kind of suffocating here. Plus, that wild goose chase might lead us to something good, you know. Maybe we can build a home with that."_ Lexa sighed, _"Your turn."_  
  
 _"I think we should take Anya and company with us. They're family and they won't be a liability. And i don't think they like it here either."_ Alicia shrugged.  
  
 _"Well, we've got a month."_  
  
Lexa's walky crackled at that moment, _"D..o... y.... opy?"_  
  
She opened up her bag, pulled it out and adjusted the dial for a moment before the two listened intently.  
  
 _"Alicia, Lexa, this is Charlie. DO you copy?"_  
  
They looked at each other with matching frowns. What is Charlie doing in this area?  
  
 _"They're not around here."_ Charlie said, but the voice sounded a bit faraway - she wasn't talking to the walky.  
  
 _"Are you sure?"_ A man's voice said.  
  
 _"I am technically their little sister by now, Cameron. There's no way they wouldn't reply to me."_  
  
 _"You better fix your attitude before i decide to feed you to the freaks."_  
  
 _"I'm your only chance at finding them. You wouldn't want to tell Virginia that you couldn't find them, just because you have anger issues now, would you?"_  
  
 _"You little shit. Just tell them to meet you at the town square until dawn."_  
  
 _"If you guys hear this, just meet me at the town square at 5 or until dawn. I'll be waiting. Over and out, i guess."_ Charlie spoke into the walky now.  
  
Lexa and Alicia exchanged amused looks before Alicia finally broke and laughed loudly - carefully, to not upset her wound.  
  
 _"Did five of Virginia's people just get fooled by a 12 year old kid?"_ she managed between laughter, _"We trained her good, didn't we?_  
  
 _"I fucking love that kid."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Alicia's relationship in the show is my favorite, i fucking love them both.
> 
> let me know what you think about it in the comments :)


	13. The Old World Is Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

_"I'm going to go see Alicia, you coming?"_ Anya asked as she tied her shoe laces.  
  
_"I'll bring breakfast for you guys. Lexa too, i guess."_ Aden said.  
  
Anya and Aden share a room since she doesn't want him to be roomed with someone else - also because she doesn't want to be roomed with someone else. It's much safer this way anyways, because you can never be too sure who might kill you in your sleep.  
  
It almost happened to her once, so she's not taking that risk again.  
  
_"Today is toast day isn't it."_ Anya sighed.

 _"I love toast!"_ Aden grinned  
  
She doesn't really like toast, never has, but you don't really have a choice in the apocalypse.  
  
Anya waved at Aden and walked out, towards the infirmary. It's still pretty early, so not many are up yet so the hallways were pretty much empty. Anya loves walking around at this time.  
  
_"Morning."_ Nyko nodded at her, _"I heard someone you know is in the infirmary, i just checked up on her, thought i would let you know."_  
  
_"How is she?"_  
  
_"She'll be fine, on bedrest and fluids for now."_ Nyko said, _"I wrote the stuff used under your name, is that okay or should i change?"_  
  
_"That's fine. I'll see you later."_  
  
Everything on the Ark is accounted for - at least that's what they advertise - the weapons, the food, the medicines and everyone has the right to limited provisions so that they can be conserved for a long time and taking more than you're allowed can get you killed.  
  
So you have to be really careful.  
  
Anya, Lincoln and Aden have been living here for six months, but Anya still doesn't like this place. It's safe from the outside danger, but it's the internal conflict that makes things dangerous - corruption, murder, stealing - and she's not sure how long this place can hold out.  
  
Anya stopped short at the infirmary entrance when she heard the twin's laughter.  
  
When she first met the twins, she thought they were really annoying, specially the way they would complete each others sentences or how they were always attached to the hips. It pissed her off because they were so weak, they couldn't even live without each other, she didn't want to be friends - or anything really - with someone like that.  
  
But then Lexa beat up a someone twice her size for bullying Lincoln and it was an eye opening incident for a teenage Anya and she realized that there's more to being strong than she previously thought.  
  
The twins quickly became one of the most important people to her.  
  
_"Anya!"_ Alicia called out.  
  
_"I see you're feeling alive huh."_ she smirked and walked over to the duo.  
  
_"A bit. I can't move too much though."_  
  
_"And you shouldn't."_ Lexa narrowed her eyes.  
  
_"Did you guys have breakfast?"_  
  
_"Not yet. Alicia isn't allowed to eat solid for a while."_ Lexa informed, _"Actually i was wondering if i could get my swords and gun back? i have to go rescue someone we know."_  
  
_"You can get them back when you leave, but where are you going?"_  
  
_"There's this kid, Charlie, she's in trouble, so i have to go get her."_  
  
_"I'll come with."_ Anya said.  
  
_"You don-"_  
  
_"Take her with you. I'll feel better knowing someone i trust has your back since i can't."_ Alicia interrupted.  
  
_"I see the apocalypse made you smarter._ " Anya smirked.  
  
_"Nothing like almost dying a couple of times to make you wise."_ Alicia grinned cheekily.  
  
_"Did someone call for a mechanic?"_

 _"I don't know can the mechanic fix me?"_ Alicia asked.

 _"This mechanic can do more than just 'fix' you."_ Raven purred and winked.

 _"How about a raincheck on that?"_ Alicia grinned.

Lexa shook her head, these two together are going to be a pain.  
  
_"I picked up a stray with breakfast."_ Aden followed behind balancing four plates.  
  
_"Show respect to your elders kid."_ Raven said and collapsed on the bed near Alicia's foot.  
  
_"You could've helped me carry these, but you didn't."_ he huffed, _"Made me lose all respect."_  
  
Anya helped Aden with the plates before he dropped any and got punished for destroying an 'asset' - those punishments aren't pretty.

Alicia declined saying she can't eat, doctor's order, so Raven took her portion, _"I'm a growing girl, I need to eat."_  
  
_"You're 22."_ Aden deadpanned, _"I'm 17, if anything I'm the growing one."_  
  
_"That's sexist, Aden and racist."_ Raven said and bit into her toast.  
  
_"You can't use that as an argument for everything!"_ he protested.  
  
_"I just did."_ she grinned.

 _"I haven't met a racist guy till now."_ Alicia said aloud, _"Oh no, wait. I did meet a racist guy but he died because he was racist."_

 _"Tell me more."_ Raven's eyes sparkled, she's always up for a good story.  
  
Lexa felt herself relax, surrounded by the familiar banter and laughter - she might've not known Raven for long, but she's all Lexa heard about for an entire year courtesy of Luna.

Everything was fine.

For now.

* * *

_"So about this Charlie, why is she in trouble? And didn't you say you were just passing through here?"_ Anya said as she followed Lexa through the woods.  
  
After breakfast, Raven had offered to keep an eye on Alicia - even though she protested that she's injured and didn't need anyone to babysit her, but Raven wouldn't take no for an answer and she didn't have anything better to do anyways - while Anya and Lexa went off and Aden had patrolling duty.  
  
Lexa didn't like leaving Alicia there, because she isn't completely sure what exactly the situation is with them staying there since no one came to talk to them - certainly not the interrogation hell Luna said - but Alicia insisted to get Charlie out of there and Lexa didn't have a choice.  
  
_"We stole something from this group of people that we were forced to merge our group with. We don't know what it is but they called it humanity's greatest weapon, their last hope. The leader, Virginia sent people after us and Charlie is with those people."_ Lexa explained.  
  
_"How big is it? The thing you stole?"_  
  
_"It's actually very small, smaller than you would imagine. But what it leads to, we don't know. That's where me and Alicia were headed. So we could get it before Virginia does. She's crazy, we couldn't let something like this fall into her hands."_  
  
_"So you won't be staying."_ Anya had already known that, but it still surprised her a bit.  
  
_"Every settlement me or Alicia have been to fell. Even the strongest one's."_ Lexa chuckled bitterly, _"Wouldn't want that to happen. We'll stay a week or two, until Alicia can be moved."_  
  
_"Trust me, if the Ark fell, it won't be your fault."_  
  
_"What's the deal with this place anyways? All of you don't seem to like it here, so why stay?"_  
  
_"It's safe. Safer than most places out here and it's got everything. It's the closest thing we have to the old world."_  
  
Lexa frowned. She used to think like that too, used to look for bits and pieces of the old world. But that's the thing, that world doesn't exist anymore and no matter how much you try, it won't ever be the same. The sooner you stop looking for it, the easier it will be to adjust.  
  
_"The old world is gone. You should stop looking for it. It'll make life easier."_

Anya already knew that.

But, it's hard to let go.

The hope. That someday, everything will go back to what it was.

The dream. That there will be a place to call home.

Because what are we if not creatures with hopes and dreams.

Even if deep down we know they'll never come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think about it in the comments :)
> 
> [tumblr](http://terraknives.tumblr.com/) [twitter](https://twitter.com/terraknives)


	14. Heard You Were Looking For Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

Charlie petted the golden retriever that had appeared out of nowhere and seemed to be living in the wild, but, it's coat was pretty clean for a wild dog. At first, she was hesitant to touch it since wild dogs can be pretty dangerous, but this one didn't seem hostile at all.  
  
She hasn't petted a dog in ages and had almost forgotten how comforting it was, more so since it's fur was so soft and shiny.  
  
 _"Where the fuck did that come from?!"_ Cameron barked.

The actual dog growled lowly and Charlie tried calming it before Cameron does something.  
  
 _"I don't know."_ Charlie replied   
  
Cameron has been losing patience and if she's being honest it's terrifying. There's no one to protect her here and she doesn't even have a weapon except the knife hidden in her boots, so if he loses his mind and does something crazy, she won't have any way to protect herself.  
  
She hopes they find Lexa and Alicia soon, since that's the aim for this mission. But they are severely underestimating the two sisters because there's only five men and there's no way they can catch them, even though they have guns.  
  
There's no doubt in Charlie's mind that Alicia or Lexa will come for her if they heard the radio and when they do, Cameron and his buddies are going to be very sorry. So she just needs to hold out long enough.  
  
 _"Don't let that thing come near camp and you better not try anything."_ he threatened.  
  
She just nodded, no use of aggravating him.  
  
He huffed and stormed back to the camp. Virginia had been pretty generous with provisions and gave them one of Logan's truck and two horses. The truck has a long range radio set up inside and Cameron has to check-in every two hours.  
  
Virginia had gone crazy when she heard Alicia and Lexa ran off with something of hers. At first, she threatened to kill everyone from the convoy, but since most of the people had settlened in the various settlements, killing them would've caused an uproar in the community. So Virginia took to treating them badly.

She already knew that Charlie was close with the twins, so she sent her with Cameron to bring back what they stole from her. Charlie has no idea what they took, but whatever it is, must be really important to Virginia.  
  
The dog - she's not going to name it, because then she'll get attached and there's no way Cameron is going to let it tag along - stared behind her into the forest and then suddenly took off in that direction.  
  
Charlie stared after the dog, debating whether she should go or not. With one last look at the men talking and laughing around the camp, she slowly sneaked off, with the knife in hand. The dog could be in danger and Charlie isn't an expert in killing but she's gotten pretty good.  
  
Suddenly a hand shot out of the dark and before Charlie had time to react someone had their hand clamped on her mouth and arms wrapped around her middle. It wasn't a walker, but that didn't make the situation any better - humans are more dangerous.  
  
 _"Charlie, hey, it's okay. It's Lexa."_  
  
Charlie stopped struggling at once and the hand around her mouth and middle was gone. She quickly turned around and wrapped her arms around the older girl that she's come to love as a sister.  
  
Their relationship is a bit weird by normal standards - but then again what's normal now? In the stadium, Lexa was the one who hung around Charlie a lot and taught her some self defense moves and other stuff, so when she betrayed the stadium, it was Lexa who was hurt the most. She could see it in Lexa's eyes when she walked away from them.  
  
But, she didn't exactly have a choice either. She owed Mel and Ennis for saving her life and she couldn't just abandon them. But she hadn't expected for Ennis to lure a horde to the stadium. She tried to warn them, but it was too late.  
  
Then, she shot Lexa. But in her defense, she was scared and Lexa was trying to kill her, it was self defense. But that didn't make her feel any better. She felt terrible for doing that to Lexa, specially the look in her eyes when she shot her, it haunted her - Lexa didn't look scared or sad, she looked betrayed and that was somehow worse.  
  
But thankfully, Lexa survived.  
  
Then the whole thing during the storm with Alicia, Charlie thought she deserved it, she deserved to die for everything she had done. Alicia, was so angry and all the things she said, they were true and it hurt, but that was nothing compared to what Alicia and Lexa must've felt. But when the time came, Alicia didn't kill her and instead took her in   
  
Despite everything, Lexa and Alicia accepted her and she'll always be grateful to them for that.  
  
 _"Lexa! You're here!"_ she grinned and looked around, _"Where's Alicia?"_  
  
 _"She didn't tag along. She's a bit injured, but don't worry, she's fine."_  
  
 _"What happened?"_  
  
 _"That's a story for another time."_ Lexa waved it off, _"Are you okay? They didn't do anything to you did they?"_

Lexa cupped Charlie's face and gave her a once over for any sign of injury. If those guys even dared to hurt the girl, Lexa would bestow hell over them. No one hurts her people and gets away with it.  
  
 _"No. No. I'm okay. They didn't do anything."_ the yet goes unspoken.  
  
 _"Are you not going to introduce us?"_ another, unfamiliar voice said.  
  
Charlie turned around to see a woman taller than Lexa with dirty blonde hair and black paint similar to what Lexa used on her face. The dog she saw earlier on her heels.  
  
 _"Right. Charlie, this is my cousin Anya. Anya this is Charlie. And that's Picasso, she usually just roams around here, pretty harmless. You can pet her."_ Lexa said.  
  
 _"Hi, nice to meet you."_ Charlie said politely.  
  
Anya narrowed her eyes and nodded, but didn't say anything.  
  
 _"Quit being an ass to her."_ Lexa rolled her eyes - Anya's need to be intimidating has amplified in the apocalypse.  
  
 _"Fine. Nice to meet you too, i guess."_ Anya huffed.  
  
Picasso growled at the noises coming from the road's direction.  
  
 _"Virginia's people."_ Charlie had almost forgotten about that.  
  
 _"Oh good, finally some action."_ Anya smirked and Charlie nodded to herself, that's definitely Lexa's cousin.  
  
Lexa shook her head with a laugh and motioned Charlie to be quiet as the three walked towards the commotion.  
  
 _"That little shit! I told you to keep her tied up!"_ one of the guy, Joan, said.  
  
 _"Hey calm down okay, she'll be back, it's not like there's anything around here for her to live off."_ another one, Spencer, said.  
  
 _"It's all your fault! I told you to keep an eye in her. Now how are we going to find those twin bitches?!"_ Cameron scowled at the four men, _"Ginny is going to have our head for that!"_  
  
Anya scoffed silently and pulled out her sword from it's holder at her waist. They have guns, so it's going to be a bit tricky - it's not that Anya couldn't have taken a gun or two from the Ark, but she would rather not use guns, plus taking a gun would make them ask too many questions, at least the sword is her own - but they have the element of surprise.

_"Don't kill that Cameron guy. Yet."_ Lexa whispered.

Anya nudged Picasso and the dog dutifully jumped out of their hiding place behind the bushes. The five men turned around, with their guns pointed at the dog, who just stood there calmy - he's not new to guns being pointed at him.

Anya's trained him to act as a distraction, because he's an adorable golden retriever, no one pays any attention to him and they easily let their guards down. This strategy always works. Although if Clarke knew, she would probably be a bit - a lot - mad.

_"It's just a fucking mutt."_ Joan scoffed and holstered his gun, followed by the rest.

_"I saw her with this mutt. You two go that way, you two will look there. I'll stay here if she comes back. Keep your walkies with you."_ Cameron said, _"We need to find her."_

Anya wordlessly slinked away towards the two that went in the other direction and Lexa nudged Charlie to stand behind her as two men came towards the bush they were hiding behind.

There was a shout from Anya's direction and Lexa used that distraction to stab her sword through their skulls. They didn't even know what hit them.  
  
Cameron turned around, with his gun readied, pointing it at every direction, _"Who the fuck-"_

Charlie watched in awe as Lexa threw a knife and it hit his hand. He dropped the gun with a obnoxiously loud scream. Lexa tried to teach her how to throw a knife, but it's harder than it looks - Lexa makes it seem so effortless.  
  
Anya walked up to him and kicked the gun away before he could grab it, it's not like he can use it with a knife sticking out of his hand, but it's best to be cautious. You should never underestimate anyone.  
  
 _"What are you going to do with him?"_ Charlie asked.  
  
 _"Talk."_ Lexa replied.  
  
 _"Like hell i will."_ he scoffed.  
  
 _"Look, don't make me do this in front of a kid."_ Lexa warned.  
  
 _"I'm not a kid!"_ Charlie mumbled.  
  
 _"You can do whatever you want."_ he said.  
  
 _"You said it, not me."_ Lexa shrugged.  
  
Before she could actually do anything - something along the line of pressing the knife deeper through his hand and worse - Virginia's muffled sound from the inside of the truck distracted her.  
  
 _"There's a long range radio in the back and Virginia checks in every two hours."_ Charlie supplied helpfully.  
  
Lexa grinned like a kid on Christmas and threw open the back door and made her way to the radio, followed by Charlie as they left Anya and Picasso to keep an eye on Cameron.  
  
 _"Hey Ginny."_ Lexa said.  
  
 _"Who is this?"_  
  
 _"Guess."_  
  
There's a long pause, after that, _"Lexa? or is it Alicia?"_  
  
 _"Doesn't really matter."_ Lexa chuckled, _"Heard you were looking for us."_  
  
 _"I will kill all your people if you don't return it."_ she growled.  
  
 _"You won't. Or should I say, you can't."_  
  
 _"Like hell i can't. You have no idea what i am capable of!"_  
  
 _"No. You have no idea what I am capable of. Don't you have a lot on your plate anyways? With Morgan being alive, must be giving you a hard time. And you don't even have the MRAP anymore. Let me guess, Al's gone too? How do you think all those things happened? You underestimated us Ginny, and now you're going to pay for it. And don't worry too much, after we've got what the key leads to, we'll be sure to return and if you're lucky, you might get a glimpse of it."_  
  
 _"You have no idea what you're getting into."_  
  
 _"Yeah, we usually don't, so that's not exactly news."_ Lexa shrugged, _"See you soon."_  
  
Lexa switched off the radio before Virginia could reply.  
  
 _"What is it?"_ Charlie asked, _"The thing Virginia was talking about? What key? Where does it lead to?"_  
  
 _"I don't know Charlie. But we're going to find out."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda feel like there isn't as much action as there should be in this story???
> 
> let me know what you guys think in the comments :)
> 
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**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated :)


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